July 12, 2009

Aliyah, a Uyghur exile

Filed under: Fiction - Shourov Bhattacharya @ 10:02 am

A simple refusal to eat lunch started Aliyah Yusuf’s long journey from her homeland in Western China to exile in Australia.

Aliyah Yusuf is a slim, petite girl, but it is no surprise that she loves her food. The traditional cuisine of her people, the Uighurs of western China, is an exotic and mouth-watering blend of East and West that is renowned throughout the country for its breads, meat pies and mutton kebabs. So it is no wonder that when I finally search out Aliyah at the café where we have agreed to meet, I find her regarding a sausage roll with the practised eye of a gourmet.

‘Just like Uyghur food,’ she tells me as she digs in.

For Aliyah, a practising Muslim, there is only one occasion on which she forces herself to renounce the pleasures of her native cooking: during the holy month of Ramadan. Like hundreds of millions of others around the world, Aliyah has always observed Ramadan strictly by not allowing food to pass her lips during daylight hours, continuing a tradition that harks back over one and a half millenia to the dawn of the Muslim faith.

There is nothing unusual about that. But in the life of this extraordinary young woman, fulfilling this basic religious duty began a train of events that has had a profound effect on her life: a road that has led to hardship, prison and now exile from her native land.

‘Because I am a Muslim’

It began some years ago, Aliyah tells me, when she was still a university student in the westernmost Chinese province of Xinjiang. Living in common quarters, Aliyah’s refusal to eat lunch during Ramadan was noticed by her roommates. For the university, observing Ramadan was an illegal act which is forbidden by the official state policy, and the more zealous amongst Aliyah’s colleagues – she has no hesitation in calling them spies - promptly reported her to the university authorities.

Aliyah was called up to her teacher’s office and ordered to break her fast. But she refused point-blank. She was given warnings and threatened with expulsion, but still she did not give in. After a few days, when it became clear that she had no intention of complying with orders, those threats were carried out: she was expelled from her degree, just months from completion.

To the Western mind, accustomed to regarding religion as a negotiable part of one’s life, such stubbornness seems difficult to comprehend, even foolish. I ask her why she refused to compromise in the face of such personal cost, and she gives me a simple answer.

‘I couldn’t. I told them I must observe Ramadan, because I am a Muslim, and a Uighur,’ she says.

It was a straighforward statement of identity, one that would have been unobjectionable in a free country. But as Aliyah packed her bags and left university empty-handed, she was immediately at risk. In modern-day Xinjiang, the Uighurs’ ancestral land, decades of Chinese rule has made Aliyah’s brand of straightforwardness a dangerous policy.

Xinjiang – the other Tibet

What is now called Xinjiang is a vast area between Tibet and Siberia, a forbidding landscape of mountains, bleak steppes and deserts that constitutes almost a fifth of China’s land mass. The Uighurs have lived there for many hundreds of years, their settlements clustered around the oases that dot the harsh terrain. Lying directly on the ancient Silk Road, the area was conquered by a succession of invaders: the Huns, the Turks, and the Mongols, amongst others. Following a violent period of uprisings, wars and turmoil at the end of the nineteenth century, the Uighurs enjoyed a brief period of independence from the 1930s. But it didn’t last, and in 1949 the area was annexed by the victorious Chinese communists.

For Uighurs today, the 1930s were a brief golden age in which they were able to establish their own state, which they called East Turkestan. Since being incorporated into China as Xinjiang (which means ‘New Land’) the Uighurs have chafed under China’s yoke. Officially, the Chinese state recognises and protects the rights of the Uighurs to maintain their culture and practise Islam. But the reality is that over the last fifty years the Chinese have tightened their grip over the region at the expense of the Uighurs’ freedoms. Religious expression and mosques have been banned or rigidly controlled by the state, and the Uighur language has been steadily removed from schools and universities in favour of Chinese. Any expressions of Uighur culture, from wedding ceremonies to traditional music, have been controlled, discouraged or even outlawed. Since the middle of the last century, Chinese policy has progressively weakened the distinct identity of the Uighur people.

Strangers in their own land

Even though they may not say it in public, the Uighurs of Xinjiang see themselves as under colonial occupation, according to Ahmet Igamberdi, a dissident writer and a prominent member of the Uighur diaspora who now lives in Australia. A frail, softly-spoken man of over sixty, it is hard to believe that he is now designated as a ‘terrorist’ by the Chinese government. He doesn’t mince words when asked about relations between the Uighurs and the Chinese.

‘Every Han Chinese who comes to East Turkestan regards himself as lord of this country, master of this country. Our relationship with the Chinese government and the Han Chinese is not friendly. They are occupying our country and killing our people.’

Mr Igamberdi has paid a grim price for his views: in his younger days he spent a decade in a Chinese jail for his political writings. Now settled in a modest area of suburban Sydney, he is still politically active as an official with the East Turkestan Government-In-Exile, which works for Uighur rights on the world stage. He travels the world to attend meetings, despite his health, and he is still writing, most recently releasing a book of poetry in his native Uighur language.

But events have not been kind to the cause for which Mr Igamberdi still fights. The Uighurs have been on the wrong side of the two most important global developments of the new century – the growth of the Chinese economy and the international ‘War On Terror’.

China’s phenomenal growth has allowed the state to move massive numbers of Chinese immigrants into Xinjiang, progressively swamping the native population. For the first time in their history, the Uighurs are a shrinking minority in their own country. At the same time, their physical landscape has been ravaged by rapid industrialization in the name of progress. Xinjiang is rich in oil and mineral wealth. But some estimates say that as little as one percent of what is extracted remains in the province, while the rest is transported away to feed the voracious appetite of the thickly-populated east coast.

While making Uighurs strangers in their own land, the Chinese government has also been able to justify intensified state repression in Xinjiang as part of the international effort against terrorism. Seizing on some reports of Uighurs participating joining Al-Qaeda, the Chinese have aggressively arrested and convicted thousands of Uighurs in Xinjiang for ‘terrorist’ or ‘separatist’ activities. I ask Mr Igamberdi if there are elements within the Uighur political space who are willing to use violence.

‘Our people are really non-violent people, but sometimes a few use violence,’ he says, ‘We need to be non-violent. But Chinese government uses this pretext to kill our people.’

Though there have been cases of Uighurs training and participating in armed jihad, they have been very few in number and are universally condemned by Uighur organisations. In Xinjiang, though, you don’t need to build a bomb to get arrested. The official charge of ‘separatism’ can mean almost anything: from keeping banned books or discussing religious topics to simply calling Xinjiang by its Uighur name of East Turkestan.

Prison and persecution

Aliyah’s own act of rebellion in observing Ramadan did not amount to ‘terrorism’, but it did cost her a university degree. Not only was she was expelled, but she earned a permanent black mark on her official record. In the eyes of the authorities, she was now a troublemaker.

That she was an Uighur was bad enough, but now she faced even more problems in Xinjiang. She found herself seeking employment in a job market which not only actively discriminated against her ethnicity but frowned upon her past. She spent a year or two moving from job to job; during which time, through her own reading and research, she became even more aware of the plight of her people. Everywhere she went, her outspoken views on Uighurs’ rights earnt her disapproval and censure, often leading to harassment or dismissal from her job.

Her luck seemed to have turned, though, when she eventually landed a plum private-sector position with a medical marketing company in Urumchi, the capital of Xinjiang. Within a short time she was making good money, working in finance and being given more responsibility in recognition of her ability. Things finally seemed to be going right.

Little did she know that she had got the job for all the wrong reasons. Uighur girls are famous throughout China for their appearance, and Aliyah herself is no exception: she has the dark, striking good looks typical of her race. It’s a fact that was not lost on her boss, who soon began to harass and proposition her at every opportunity. Although she flatly rejected his advances (“I hit him”, she explains matter-of-factly) the unwanted attention continued. But Aliyah never gave in to him. Eventually, she paid dearly for defending her honour.

When the Chinese police arrived to arrest her, Aliyah was the only person at home. She was being arrested for embezzling from her company, they told her, and she would have to leave immediately for the police station. She was not given time to inform anyone. Confused and terrified, Aliyah spent the first night alone in a police lockup in freezing conditions. When she recounts the story now, her eyes automatically brim with tears.

‘If I had a knife, I would have killed myself, that first night,’ she says.

Fate had dealt Aliyah a cruel blow. In those first lonely days in prison, it seemed to her that she was the victim of chance, arrested and locked up for no reason at all. But the truth that she found out within a few days was even worse. The real reason for her misery was revenge. Embittered by her rejections, it was her boss who had framed her for stealing money from the company accounts.

Aliyah was not alone during her time in prison. Lack of information makes it very difficult to estimate the numbers of Uighurs imprisoned at any one time, but most external estimates range well into the tens of thousands. Many, like Aliyah, have committed no crime, but are marked as ‘special’ prisoners, those who have been politically troublesome. Those who get a trial are convicted behind closed doors and often sent to labour camps. The unlucky ones are summarily executed.

In a tiny cell with twelve other women, Aliyah endured horrific conditions. It was so cramped that they could not all lie down together, so they took it in turns to sleep. Their solitary toilet overflowed every night, covering the floor in a layer of filth which froze to a slush by the morning. Aliyah tried to hold her own with the other prisoners, but she is not a strong or large girl, and although some prisoners showed her sympathy and even kindness, she was subjected to frequent violence and physical abuse.

And it was not just from the other prisoners. When Aliyah refused to eat one day, she suffered a vicious beating at the hands of Chinese policewomen. Hit repeatedly in the abdomen, she developed internal injuries that failed to heal, and she was eventually taken to a hospital. To this day, she suffers the ill-effects: she is still not sure if she can ever have children.

But her beating had a silver lining. When brought to hospital, Aliyah’s family was able to locate her and bribe officials to buy her release. They took her from her hospital bed and brought her home. Not for the first time, someone had slipped through that enduring loophole in the otherwise brutally efficient Chinese system: official corruption.

A choice

Back at home, Aliyah had a choice to make as she recovered her health. She knew the police and government officials were still monitoring her, and keeping a close eye on her activities. She could be re-arrested again at any time, on any pretext, especially if she tried to do anything that might be represented as political. At the same time, her experience of the injustices of the Xinjiang administration had made her even more determined to work for her compatriots’ rights.

It is a choice Mr Igamberdi faced too, many years earlier: whether to stay in China and risk his own life, or leave forever. When I ask him about that decision, and whether he ever regrets leaving, his soft grey eyes cloud over with sadness.

‘I have children there [in Xinjiang]. I cannot see them,’ he says simply.

For Aliyah, in the end, it was an easier decision than she had thought. She knew her family was at risk because of her, and that she would never be entirely safe in China any longer. Through contacts in Hong Kong, Aliyah was able to organise holiday visas and air tickets to Australia, at times tricking officials into giving her the requisite permissions and signatures. The night before she left, the Chinese police came to her house on a routine visit, but they did not find her tickets. The next day, with an anxious heart and a tear in her eye, Aliyah left China for the first time and flew to Australia with her holiday tour group.

On arriving in Sydney, she managed to slip away at night from under the watchful eye of the official Chinese government tour-guide and meet local Uighurs, who urged her to leave with them immediately. She did, taking only a carry bag with her to start her new life.

‘East Timor … why not East Turkestan?’

Within eighteen months of her arrival, Aliyah has received her political asylum in Australia and has settled down to a new life – working as a translator for the World Uighur Network and training to be a masseur. Speaking with her, it is clear that like many Uighurs, she is very grateful to the Australian government for granting her asylum. But she also shares the feeling that – like most Western countries – Australia’s official position is to turn a blind eye to the mistreatment of Uighurs in China. Despite being one of the most pro-Western Muslim communities in the world, the Uighur people and their struggles today warrant no more than the occasional story in the media.

‘With East Timor, the world paid much attention, even the Australian people helped them to gain independence. Why don’t Western governments, American government pay attention to our problem?‘ asks Mr Igamberdi.

It is a common lament of the Uighur diaspora, but everyone knows the answer to the question. In the face of the opportunities offered by the booming Chinese market, Western interest in human rights in China has waned and disappeared. That the Uighurs are Muslims makes their plight doubly difficult. Any support for Uighur nationalists is immediately denounced by China as meddling and double standards, given the West’s own battle with radical Islam.

I wonder aloud if the Uighur cause is hopeless, whether they should simply give it up and make the best of what they have. To my surprise, Aliyah simply laughs. To her it is not even an option, she tells me. And I can see that she is telling the truth; there is a vitality to her, a joy in her work, that entertains no hint of defeat. Despite the bleak outlook, she still seems happy.

‘I am happy,’ she tells me, ‘From here I can do something for my people.’

We take our leave, and agree to meet for a meal again at Sydney’s only Uighur restaurant. If there is nobility in fighting a losing battle, I reflect, the Uighur people have it. Marginalized in their own land, pinned firmly in the grip of the world’s most efficient state machinery, labelled as terrorists and ignored on the world stage, their plight seems impossible. Yet then there is someone like Aliyah, tirelessly and cheerfully working against the odds. I don’t know whether to feel sad or inspired.

Perhaps, someday, the Uighur people will get what they want, however hopeless it may seem now. We in Australia need only look as far as our northern neighbour to see an example of a people who did the impossible. If East Timor, why indeed not East Turkestan? Their day, too, may come. And if and when it does, one hopes that we in the West – the self-proclaimed “free world” – may have played a role that brings us credit, not shame.

March 2, 2008

A Twist of the Neck

Filed under: Fiction - Shourov Bhattacharya @ 12:55 am
Whenever I send Shibhu to the market, he comes back late, and smelling of tobacco. I instruct him, always, to choose the chicken carefully; not one of the biggest birds, but of a medium size with shiny feathers, with energy enough to peck at the curse of its cage. He chooses well, usually. But I suspect he has an arrangement. Of the money that I give him I am sure he keeps at least ten or fifteen rupees for himself, having organized a regular discount with the shopkeepers and perhaps some sort of quid pro quo; the balance surely goes on a session of chai and cigarettes, or the bottomless pit of the paan-wallah’s tin.
When he returns, though, singing and reeking of smoke, I say nothing. He is an old man, and he should be left to enjoy what little pleasures he can take from his life. Shibhu has worked in this house for more than fifteen years; for my uncle before me, shuttling back and forth to the pharmacy in an old, hand-drawn rickshaw carrying black bottles of medicine; and now for us, cleaning and running odd errands, or lifting the phone to admonish prospective telemarketers in his broken English. Nowadays he is thin, and drawn. A racking cough takes up residence in his chest at the change of the weather, and he travels less and less to his home village. I let him be, out of affection and concern for his health.
It sounds strange, but in this house I do almost all of the cooking. I’ve always enjoyed the experience of preparing food: the anticipation of lighting the stove and heating the oil, the cool, soothing feel of sliced vegetables under my hand, that first, happy aroma of cooking spices. I chop, I fry, I grill, I stir and boil and toss and bake: I do it all. Tucking my shirt under the little roll of fat at my belly, I busy myself at the counter, the stove and the oven simultaneously, oblivious to the world. The kitchen is converted into my playroom, into my own private temple. Nobody bothers me, and I need no one; everyday worries knock vainly at the closed door of my mind. I am absorbed by the process, consumed with the joy of transformation, in thrall to the ancient craft. 
Meenakshi loves it much less, or not at all. Her mother warned me, of course, about her aversion to the kitchen, little realizing that it did not matter to me at all. I have my Meena for other things: for the infectious tinkle of her laugh, the smell of hair, the glad splash of her sari on the verandah in the morning. In her I have already been given more than I deserve; more than I should rightly have. My hands are full with treasure..
Our verandah is a pretty one, looking out onto the lane behind the main road, open to the sky despite the suffocating press of other buildings all around. I have decorated the area with plants, little ferns and various flowers that bloom one by one during the summer months. It’s where Meena likes to have her tea, in the mornings, reclining behind the curled branches like a shy starlet. I drink mine at the dining table just inside, where I can lay out the morning paper in all its mind-numbing detail. 
Once the clock reaches eight-thirty, the verandah across the lane also stirs in a mirror image of ours; our neighbour, Akash, comes out for his morning cigarette.
‘Morning Akash,’ I call out, raising my hand.
‘Morning brother,’ he returns, pausing to light up, ‘Good morning, Meena.’
Meena laughs her own greeting, setting her cup down with a clink, and asks about his plans for the day. Akash is a journalist, too, but writing for a new website publication, specializing in ‘entertainment’ stories. He works from home, mostly, balancing a laptop on his knees or nodding seriously on his phone, pen in hand. He works hard; if I get up late in the night for some reason, I invariably see his figure at his bedroom window, hunched over in concentration. In the mornings, though, he is relaxed, rubbing the sleep from his dark eyes and blowing smoke down out into the already filthy air. Sometimes I come out to the verandah as well, my own cup still at my lips, and join in the conversation.
‘Not bad, brother,’ he drawls, in answer to my query about his work, ‘not bad at all. Some days good, some days bad. You know?’
On my own days in the office I leave the flat by about ten. I never need to stay long; after meetings and some briefings from my colleagues, I can usually bring my work back home. Shibhu is often having a siesta when I return in the mid-afternoon. I don’t wake him; if he has been to the market, he stocks the refrigerator himself and leaves me a short note if there has been any problem with my order. Or sometimes he tells Meenakshi, if she is there, and she passes on the message.
‘No goat meat, this week. Shibhu says there is a shortage in the city, because of the strike,’ she might say, sprawled on the couch, while I lay a kiss on the top of her head. 
Meena doesn’t work, right now. She graduated last year, but hasn’t been on the job market since then. She doesn’t need to be, really. Since our marriage she has been working on a few small projects with friends, sending her own designs to the academy in Delhi and overseas. I ask her, now and then, what her career plans are, but she doesn’t seem eager to discuss it. We have a vague strategy to move to Mumbai, next year or the next, if I can utilize some of my connections with the paper. Meena wants to wait until then, I suppose. She keeps busy, thinking up new ideas and sketching, leafing through page after page of smiling models with a furrowed brow. I leave her to it. We don’t need the money, just yet; and I don’t want to push her to work if she is happier at home.
We are happy, I think to myself as I begin another afternoon in the kitchen, laying out the onions and drying my knife on the tail of my shirt. I chop the onions finely, place the lot into a deep pan and cover atop the stove to sautee, then grate some herbs. The smell of garlic infuses the house with warmth. There is time, after that, to slice the other vegetables with care, lightly frying the potatoes in their own pan while I wait. Outside, crows squawk in ugly orchestra at the windowsill, pushing their beaks against the grill; I have to bang against the frame with my wooden spoon to chase them away. Behind their retreating wings emerges Akash’s beaming face.
‘Brother,’ he says, ‘it smells fantastic.’
‘I haven’t even started yet!’ I laugh. I have never seen Akash cooking himself, although he lives alone. Perhaps he has his food delivered, or he eats out. I drop spices into the oil, raising a sizzling, sublime mushroom cloud. The bachelor life, I think to myself, smiling - how I miss those days!
‘Is it chicken curry?’ Akash asks, now looking at me intently. I reply in the affirmative. He licks his lips theatrically and gives me a thumbs up. I raise my spoon in acknowledgement.
‘I love chicken curry. You’ll have me over one day won’t you, brother?’
Of course I will, I answer. The poor guy, I think, probably doesn’t get all that much good food, living away from home as he does. Resolving to myself to have Meena invite him, I simmer the chicken and vegetables in my karhai and stare reflectively outside. The winter sun filters weakly through the smog and paints the evening a dull silver. Beneath me, gangs of puppies chase one another through the lane, yelping sharply when caught by the wheels of passing bicycles. Palm trees raise their dirty fronds towards the sky, willing the cleansing rains to arrive early. The city breathes fitfully and arranges itself for the night.
When I finish, I cover the pot and wipe a bead of sweat from my brow with my towel. I glance outside again, and am surprised to see that Akash is still at his window, regarding me with a curious gaze from the same position as before. Our eyes meet, and I give him a gesture of goodbye.
‘Good night, brother,’ he says quietly. 
Meena and Shibhu both love my chicken curry – thick and fiery without being rich, the meat delicately spiced a perfect balance of hot, sweet and sour. I leave Shibhu’s portion aside, in a separate container, for him to take to his room. At dinner I finish my own meal early and watch Meena as she eats, slurping appreciatively at her fingers and mangling the chicken bones with her teeth. She scarcely looks up. When I reach towards her to stroke her hair, she flicks my hand away with annoyance. 
It is my mother’s recipe, that curry, one of my earliest memories. I can still see her hunched and blowing at the coals, then raising herself on her haunches and fanning the oven with my father’s discarded newspaper. Potatoes and onions frying in oil, only to be laid out and put aside in crisp profusion on a plate. Dismembered chickens in a gruesome pile, awaiting their miraculous, genius transformation. It always amazed me, that such a varied and discrete gallery of ingredients could come together so perfectly; the end product tasted so gloriously complete, as if sprung directly from the forehead of Brahma, a divine inspiration rather than the toil of human hands. When I finally learnt to make the dish myself, I saw it all in my mind’s eye as clearly as a film-reel: my mother’s precise and slender hands at work above her utensils and cooking pots. No recipe was ever required; only the keen inner lens of remembered love.
‘We must have Akash over one day,’ I say at the table, sipping the last of my water. Meena looks up sharply, her hand halfway to her mouth. I give her a fatherly smile.
‘We should, you know. The poor guy hardly gets any good food.’ 
Meena does cook, too, very occasionally – a dhal, or some vegetables in a simple curry, or even a stew of fish. But she takes little interest in it. Perhaps she does it only out of guilt, as if she should at least contribute something in the kitchen. Usually, if I am out late for any reason, I leave her something already made. On the rare occasion that I must travel away from the city, she makes do with whatever is in the house, preferring to give Shibhu a holiday. I suspect she falls back into her old, bad habits, picking up fast food from the stalls that line the main intersection, fried bhajis and sweets and plates of spicy chaat. 
That was all she wanted when we first married, that kind of food. I indulged her, then; we took trips to the city, strolling hand in hand through the gardens, sharing packets of fried nuts and devouring ice creams, wiping each other’s shoulders with sticky hands. But now, with the years, we have found a new kind of love, one that does not require the the greasy incitements of the chaat-wallah or the sweet mutterings of the ice-cream man; one that is based on the more sedate happinesses of hearth and home. 
Meena comes rarely to the kitchen, so I am surprised when she appears at the door, smiling coquettishly. She rarely disturbs me, here. But this time she is unusually attentive; she comes right inside, raising herself on tiptoes and laying her chin on my shoulder. 
‘You’re making chicken,’ she says, in a playful tone, ‘Can I watch?’
I plant a kiss on her hair and raise the lid to let her look into the pot. She coughs weakly in the rising fumes and squints inside. The chicken is simmering, and not yet ready. I quickly cover the pot again.
‘Can you show me how you make it?’ she asks.
I am even more surprised, but glad. I have already used most of the vegetables, but there are some extras laid aside, and I show her how they are sliced and prepared well in advance - the onions, the potatoes, the tomatoes. I take down the jars of spice and arrange them on the counter, explaining the order in which I add them, the right measure of turmeric and masala and tamarind. The chicken is cut to this size, I tell her, holding one piece out of the pot to illustrate, and must be on the bone. Then, the timings: when to cover, when to simmer, when to leave the entire pot open and let the water evaporate away.
She asks me a question, and then listens, closely, her lips parted in a beautiful pose of concentration. For the first time, I feel myself greatly distracted from my task. Let the pot simmer, I decide, turning the heat right down to just a tiny flame; then I hoist her onto my shoulders and carry her out of the kitchen, her legs kicking in mock outrage. 
Afterwards, Meena is very quiet, playing with the bangles at her wrist. I make my way to the kitchen and switch off the curry just in time, then turn to the door to find Shibhu watching me with sad eyes.
‘Sir…’ he says, hesitating. I give him an inquiring look. ‘Sir, you showed madam how to cook the chicken?’
‘Yes,’ I nod. Shibhu looks at his hands, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. 
‘You should not have done that, sir,’ he says in a soft voice. 
‘Why not?’ I am annoyed at his strange behaviour, and I don’t hide it. He does not answer straight away. I raise my hands in exasperation. ‘What are you talking about, Shibhu?’
He gives me an imploring look. 
‘Nothing, sir. Only that … you can make it much better.’ I stare at him, bewildered, but he does not meet my eye. Then, before I can respond, he turns on his heel and disappears.
That Shibhu, I think to myself. He is definitely getting on. I should consider giving him his retirement.
The next day I embark for the office, fighting clouds of flies and the stinking mass of a million bodies on the underground. I emerge into the city centre and flee to the comfort of my building, thankful for the hum of air conditioning within. The day begins well. Almost before I can even check my email, my editor comes to see me. He gives me high praise for my latest feature series, and hands me a slim envelope with a meaningful wink. 
I tear it open at my desk. It is a letter from the editor of the national edition, offering me a sub-editor position in Mumbai. 
I lean back and let my heart do jigs in my chest as I contemplate the news. The others in my team have heard too, and come around to slap my back and tell me how much they will miss me. It’s a wonderful opportunity. I see a clear path opening ahead of me, fortune parting the Red Sea of circumstance in my favour. I promise to take my colleagues for coffee later in the week to celebrate. Then I quickly repack my bag and flit out through the mid-morning traffic straight to the market. 
Today, I buy the chicken, not Shibhu. The market is less busy at this time, and I go straight to our regular corner. The shopkeeper eyes me carefully and offers me an outrageous price, then backs off when I begin to argue. I remind him about Shibhu, and he breaks into an enormous grin. No sooner have I pointed to a bird than he has extracted it from the cage and snapped its neck. 
‘For you, sir,’ he says simply, folding the corpse into a paper bag and extending one wiry arm.
The auto rickshaw has hardly sputtered to a halt in front of my building than I press the money into the driver’s hand and rush upstairs. I fumble at the latch impatiently, then flick my keys onto the hallway table and burst into the living room. It is empty. I call Meena’s name, then Shibhu’s, but there is no answer. I stride to the back of the flat, still calling out. The clack clack of my shoes against the wooden floor echoes around me. The flat is dark, the windows in every room unopened. Meena perhaps has gone out, but I wonder where Shibhu could be. 
‘Shibhu?’ 
There is a shuffling from behind the door of his room, but no answer. I take a step forward to investigate; but he appears soundlessly at the doorway. From his appearance I immediately know that something is very wrong. His usually immaculate shirt is crinkled and hangs crookedly from his shoulders, loosely buttoned. His eyes are red and swollen. The flat disc of his face is wet and dirty with tears. 
‘Shibhu? What is it?’ I ask.
‘Sir, she is …’ His voice wavers, then breaks into a sudden sob, twisting his face with grief. He totters towards me and throws his arms around my body, burying his face in my chest.
‘Sir, I couldn’t tell you, sir, I couldn’t do anything. She is gone, sir. She is gone.’
I feel myself grow instantly cold, a chill running through every vein. I know he means Meena. An awful intuition settles over me. I stand limp, with my arms at my side, collecting Shibhu’s loyal tears on my shirt. His sobbing subsides, and he releases me slowly and stands back, then raises his left arm. I follow the line of his outstretched finger to the verandah across the street.
‘You mean, with … ?’
Shibhu nods, and lets his head drop to his chest. I walk to the window and peer into the flat across the lane. The windows are not shuttered, but the rooms are empty; there is not a single stick of furniture left. The walls are bare, and the floors completely cleared. The door to the verandah is open. Outside a solitary packet of cigarettes balances precariously atop the railing; as I watch it falls to the street below.
We stand there a long time, not moving. The din of traffic outside slowly rises and fills the silence between us. When I finally speak, I do so without turning.
‘Light the stove, Shibhu,’ I say in a voice I never knew I had, ‘We are going to have a feast tonight, you and I.’

February 26, 2008

An Excerpt from Chapter 1

Filed under: Fiction - Shourov Bhattacharya @ 12:50 am

 There was a smear of blood on her breast. In the last seven days he had begun to suck far too hard, as if he was trying to draw out her grief with all the strength of his little body. But he had failed, and instead her nipples had cracked and split. Once she would have winced and scolded him, in that special voice that he had discovered for her. She may even have gently cursed, convinced that the words went nowhere and meant nothing. But now she wasn’t so sure. To let a curse pass her lips at this time – it seemed a betrayal. So she stayed quiet; and with her free hand she wiped the pink flecks from the sides of his mouth.

“Madam,” said the men from behind the door, “your taxi is here.”
They went outside in single file. The baby began to cry, because the winter heat and the dust made his eyes water and sting. She held him to her more closely. Children ran towards them, carrying magazines tied with string; but the men brushed them aside. When they reached the taxi, the driver helped them to push the cases into the trunk. The job was done within the minute; but mother and child still stood motionless, oblivious to their hints. They hesitated and exchanged a quick glance. But perhaps they knew about her, for they let it pass. Then the taller of the men opened the door of the car and gave the driver the name of the hotel.
‘Good luck, madam,’ he said.
A little piece of chivalry, even here; but he was already invisible. They drove on, the streets half-deserted and edged by fog. The driver made no conversation. The baby’s cries became a whimper, then stopped altogether as he succumbed to the growl of the engine. She wished that she could do the same. But for her there was only the looking and the thinking, as much as she would allow herself to think at this time. Through a grimy window she saw the outline of a buffalo by the roadside. It chewed slowly and watched her pass. One day, she thought to herself, all of this will be gone and forgotten - the buffalo and her, the driver and his dirty car and the even dirtier streets. Everything except for Noah, and his memory of what had happened. Or what he had been told about what had happened. Years from now he would lie beside someone and talk and laugh as if nothing at all had taken place. If there was anything from which she could take comfort, it might be that.
The hotel was old and in the lobby there was a group of boys who sat and played cards under a solitary light. They had towels wrapped around their waists, and they seemed ashamed to see her. But she didn’t care. She hadn’t told the consulate about her decision, and she imagined that they were probably waiting for her at their own hotel, suits and cameras lined up in sympathy. But this was a much better idea. To be out of the public eye, that is what she wanted more than anything else. The first glimpse of the room was almost a relief; the stains that disfigured the walls above the bed were actually welcome. It made it less likely that she would be disturbed. 
But she was wrong. The sound of the phone, when it came, was a clap of thunder in the hot room.
‘Neha?’
The baby jerked awake. 
‘I am here.’
‘Try to sleep. Tomorrow we will meet in the morning and decide what to do.’
‘I have already decided. I am meeting the Commissioner at ten.’
The line clicked and whirred.
‘The Commissioner is a political appointment and famously incompetent. You must be tired. Sleep now and we will discuss in the morning.’
‘I have made the arrangements myself; unofficially.’
‘Okay, okay.’
‘Don’t call them, Ranjan. I don’t want them to know.’
‘They’ll know anyway.’
They both paused.
‘Ranjan?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you have any hope, at all?’
He didn’t answer. Even over the crackle of the line, she could hear the silence harden and grow sad. Ranjan had loved him at least as much as her. She knew instinctively that their rights over this new kingdom were to be shared, not fought over. Were the lines on that map already being drawn? 
Her son began to cry.  
‘Look after him and try to sleep. Whatever can be done will be done.’
She let him finish in his own time. After a few minutes, he stopped his squirming and stared at her with a stillness that made her uncomfortable. He looked more like his father than before. She leaned back against the pillow. The flourescent lights hummed like angels; the pain flowed deep and strong in her breast. She tried to avoid his gaze. Whatever it was that he demanded, he would have it sooner or later; but not now, not yet. Short, shallow breaths escaped from her lips. She felt him slip his head into the palm of her hand, and she could feel the blood pumping through the gaps in his skull. They were so tired, the both of them. Her breathing became more regular. Little but little, her eyelids began to droop and relax.
Outside, things went on as they always had; tyres screeched and street curs howled with glee and mounted one another. She stripped her shirt and lay down with the baby and placed her breast into his mouth. He drank, without thinking, and made a face in the dark. The milk was warm; but it was also as bitter as soil.

 

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