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	<title>TheVerandah</title>
	<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com</link>
	<description>For the intellectual omnivore</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:36:35 +0000</pubDate>
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		<item>
		<title>People Are Not Numbers</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/04/02/people-are-not-numbers/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/04/02/people-are-not-numbers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:10:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
	<category>Science and Tech</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/04/02/people-are-not-numbers/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	                   The misdiagnosis of our son in utero is an excellent illustration of a fundamental flaw at the heart of medical science - the false analogy between people and sets of numbers
A wrong diagnosis: our story&nbsp;
	&lsquo;What is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p><!--StartFragment-->                   <strong>The misdiagnosis of our son <em>in utero</em> is an excellent illustration of a fundamental flaw at the heart of medical science - the false analogy between people and sets of numbers</strong><br />
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>A wrong diagnosis: our story</strong></span>&nbsp;</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><em>&lsquo;What is the chance our child will be normal?&rsquo;<br />              &lsquo;Hmmm &hellip; a very low probability.&rdquo; <br />              &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;- conversation with Dr O.</em></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Intense emotion often sears the memory with incidental details. Two years later, I can still remember every inch of Dr M.&rsquo;s office. His chair sat under a window that had regal views over Hyde Park; his desk was an enormous, darkwood affair that contrasted with the compactness of the Mac computer that lived &nbsp;on top of it. There was a large, garish piece of modern art on the right hand wall, showing a Picasso-esque mother holding a baby; a small bookshelf that held stacks of paper and a variety of medical supplies and gloves; and in the far corner of the room behind us, an adjustable bed and a small ultrasound machine with its display screen.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Dr M. was our obstetrician, and he had a reputation as one of Sydney&rsquo;s best. His fees &ndash; a flat fee of a few thousands, and hundred dollars each for consultations that often took less than five minutes &ndash; seemed to confirm that. Like most first-time parents, we felt that we were doing the right thing by seeing him. By having a specialist of our choice involved in the pregnancy, we were offering our new child the best of medical care. We were vaguely aware of the alternative &ndash; going through the public health system and seeing whichever doctor happened to be free at the time &ndash; but as people with some disposable income, it seemed a no-brainer. We had the money so we would &ldquo;go private&rdquo; and see our own doctor. &nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Dr M. used two offices, so that he could line up patients in quick succession and waste no time waiting in between appointments. Our consultations with him were usually quick and pleasant. A simple scan to check the growing baby, then general enquiries about my wife&rsquo;s health and a promise to see us again in a few weeks.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">But in the fifth month of the pregnancy, something went wrong.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><img src="http://theverandah.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/Gist_ultraSound.JPG" width="230" height="179" alt="" title="" border="0" style="" />&nbsp;</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><em>Arjun in the womb at 22 weeks</em></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">It all began with the 22-week scan, a standard, detailed ultrasound examination of the fetus that is now a routine part of prenatal care. While we were mesmerised and delighted by the pictures of our (literally) bouncing little baby boy, our sonographer seemed more circumspect. She waited until the very end of the examination to tell us that something had &ldquo;not measured right&rdquo;. We had noticed her using a computer cursor during the examination to measure different parts of the baby&rsquo;s body &ndash; bone lengths, head circumference, size of organs and so on &ndash; but now we suddenly paid a lot more attention. What did she mean not &ldquo;right&rdquo;? What had she seen? Was there something wrong with our baby?</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&ldquo;It is probably best,&rdquo; she told us as she ushered us out, &ldquo;to see your doctor.&rdquo;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We left the examination in a daze. We had tickets to the Caribbean the next day for a four-week holiday; we knew that there was no chance of us getting an appointment with Dr M. before that. As we drove home, our anxiety grew as we began to feed off each other&rsquo;s apprehensions. What made it worse was not knowing any details. It seemed stupid that we had not asked the sonographer for more explanation, but it had not occurred to us at the time. The shock of hearing that all may not be well with the baby had temporarily paralyzed our thought processes. Now, by the time we had recovered from the initial shock, it was far too late. We couldn&rsquo;t see our doctor, and it would be four weeks before we would next get a chance.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We flew to the Caribbean with a bittersweet taste in our mouths. We convinced each other that is was probably nothing, and that worrying would not get us anywhere. But &nbsp;at the airport, we used international roaming on our mobile phone to call Dr M. There was no answer, and we left a message. Every new country where we disembarked, I would turn on the phone and watch the little screen in hope, waiting for a return message. In the plane, my wife&rsquo;s little bump suddenly had a significance and a poignancy that it had not had before.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Finally, in Miami, the message came. The baby&rsquo;s long bones [arms and legs], Dr M. told us, were a little short. No big deal right now; come back next month and we would review it then.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">It was enough, this little nugget of reassurance bounced to us on the other side of the world. We enjoyed our holiday in relative peace, reassuring each other that it was all a false alarm. We watched cricket, drank rum and lay on the beach. On a boat cruise, fellow tourists exclaimed at how small my wife was for a second-trimester pregnancy. &nbsp;I told myself it meant nothing &ndash; she was a small girl anyway, so what did they expect? The sun was shining and all was well with the world. We lay at night in the tropical dark and pretended to each other that we weren&rsquo;t thinking about it.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">But we were. And in a spare moment of weakness, I logged onto the Web at our resort and searched Google for &ldquo;short long bones fetus&rdquo; - and stumbled onto a chamber of horrors.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeletal_dysplasia" target="_blank">Skeletal dysplasias</a> are abnormalities of bone growth that typically lead to what is commonly termed &ldquo;dwarfism&rdquo;. Although the most common and milder forms such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achondroplasia" target="_blank">achondroplasia</a> are often compatible with an active and long life, many of the more severe forms are very disabling and lead to death at or shortly after birth. It turns out that abnormally short long bones in the fetus are a prime prenatal marker for skeletal dysplasias. Everything I read pointed to the same conclusion: that these results at this stage of the pregnancy put our baby at real risk of having a form of skeletal dysplasia. As I scrolled through pages and pages of diagrams and graphs, research papers and photographs of crippled children, it really hit me for the first time that there was a possibility that my boy would be very visibly abnormal. That all the dreams I had about his first steps, playing cricket in the park and walking him to school would have to be shattered and rebuilt. That the future that once lay bright and undisturbed in front of us now bubbled with uncertainty and fear.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We returned to Sydney, and went to see Dr M. as soon as we could get an appointment. I was relieved to see that he seemed unfussed. Google had not lied to me; there was a possibility of skeletal dysplasia, but at this stage it was nothing more than a suspicion, he told us. The only way to know was to follow the baby&rsquo;s growth over the next few months. If his little arms and legs grew at a decent pace, we could be reassured that everything might be okay. If, however, we saw the growth dropping off the graph, then there was some cause for concern.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">The &nbsp;next few months were a &nbsp;merry-go-round of medical appointments. There were bi-weekly meetings with Dr M., and ultrasounds scans both at his office and at the ultrasound center that did more detailed scans. &nbsp;Time dulled our initial anxieties, and we went into a kind of holding pattern of hope and fear. Our appointments were as jovial as ever, but the banter was now forced. I watched the ultrasound screen with feigned disinterest, waiting for the new measurements to appear every week and mentally calculating the rate of growth as soon as it appeared. Our baby was reduced to points on a graph and a percentile reading on a growth chart. And though I tried to fight it, at nights I would sometimes pore over our ultrasound pictures and surf the Web for information, looking for reassurance but also afraid of what I might read.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Things came to a head in late July, just a month before our baby was due. Dr M. had danced around the truth for months, but now he told us straight out: our baby had a skeletal dysplasia, and he was referring us to a geneticist to start the process of &ldquo;management&rdquo;. The cubist art beside us now took on a sinister air; the doctor put on a professionally compassionate face; and in that moment our carefully constructed defences crashed down around us. In the waiting room as we paid our consultation bill, my wife wept openly and drew sympathetic stares. This was what we had desperately hoped to avoid. For the first time, we felt stripped bare and alone - and unprepared to face the future.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">My online research became obsessive. What might be the exact diagnosis, given the prenatal measurements that we had? What was the prognosis for our baby&rsquo;s life? What was the chance that the diagnosis was false? I spent hours on the Web reading everything I could find, even spending money to get access to medical journal papers and specialist material. I began to read up about people with dwarfism and their lives and how they fared. I read about achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and the medical complications it could bring. I read the blogs of people with dwarfism and saw how normal they were, despite the many hurdles they faced. I looked up the American TV show <a href="http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/lpbw.html" target="_blank">&ldquo;Little People, Big World&rdquo;</a> and laughed along with their stories.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">And meanwhile our little baby kicked and squirmed, ready to come into the world.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">The appointment with the geneticist was the most nerve-wracking day of my life. His name was Dr O., and he was an expert in the field. He was the one, we thought, who would give us a definite diagnosis for our baby&rsquo;s condition. I remember the fetal medicine department as being the darkest, shabbiest, most depressing part of the entire hospital. We sat in the waiting room surrounded by a sea of glum faces, each mother-to-be trying to guess why the others were there. The receptionist laughed and joked with her friends over the phone, oblivious to our private tragedies. Dr O., when he finally came to call us, turned out to be a small, obese man with close-cropped hair and womanly hands. His solicitious tone suggested that he was used to dealing with anxious parents. He ran the ultrasound monitor over my wife&rsquo;s belly, and I watched with my heart in my throat. The examination couldn&rsquo;t have taken more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours. My wife gave me a questioning look; I squeezed her hand for reassurance. When I couldn&rsquo;t take it any longer, I asked Dr O. what he thought. He hummed and hawed and scrutinized the computer monitors.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&nbsp;&lsquo;It&rsquo;s hard to say. There is definitely some kind of skeletal dysplasia. But I don&rsquo;t think it is lethal.&rsquo;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Oh, how I had hoped for a different reaction! A dismissive wave of the hand, perhaps &ndash; &lsquo;Nothing to worry about!&rsquo;. Or a puzzled look - &lsquo;Why are you even here? He&rsquo;s normal!&rsquo; Normal, normal &ndash; those were the words I had so wanted to hear. Instead - he didn&rsquo;t think it was lethal! To hear that your baby will not die is not something that a parent should take lightly, but I hardly focussed on that. What Dr O. had told us was being measured against our expectations, not against any absolute reality. On our scale of possible outcomes, I could see both the best-case and worst-case scenarios slipping away. And those words &ndash; &ldquo;definitely a skeletal dysplasia&rdquo; &hellip;&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&lsquo;What is the chance he might still be normal?&rsquo; I asked. Dr O. furrowed his brow in reply, as if calculating the odds there and then.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&lsquo;Very low probability,&rsquo; he said.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Our baby would not be normal. I tried my best to internalize this new reality. A definite diagnosis would only be possible after birth, and we went home to wait it out. We told our families the news, and although they lived interstate we hid nothing from them. My parents tried to reassure us with anecdotes of short people in our family history; how so-and-so aunt or uncle had hardly reached five feet and still become a success. My father-in-law railed at the &ldquo;know-nothing&rdquo; doctors and their new-fangled machines. They all booked tickets and flew to Sydney to be with us. Like a lotus flower, our family closed itself protectively around us.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">And then in late August, our son arrived.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">He was in a rush &ndash; it was a two-hour labour. Things progressed so fast that there was no time to hook up the monitoring equipment that Dr M. had recommended be used. Little Arjun appeared and was whisked off to have his lungs cleared. I was thrilled and thankful. Under the bright lights of the labour ward, I looked into his gorgeous blue and brown eyes and almost forgot all the dramas of the last few weeks.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Almost - but not entirely. I couldn&rsquo;t help but notice his limbs, which were short; but not unusually so. A little flame of hope that I had kept kindled inside burst alight. When Dr M. arrived he was, despite his thousand dollar fees, more than half an hour late.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&lsquo;What do you think?&rsquo; I asked him.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&lsquo;I think you have a healthy baby boy,&rsquo; he said &ndash; &lsquo;enjoy him.&rsquo;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We did. There were some minor complications over the next few weeks &ndash; many of them a result of over-officious medical care &ndash; but it gradually became clear that the prenatal diagnosis of skeletal dysplasia was wrong. Dr O. came for a look in Arjun&rsquo;s second week. He held our baby at an arm&rsquo;s length, inspecting him as dispassionately as a meat inspector at an abattoir. Nothing seemed obviously wrong, he admitted grudgingly. That&rsquo;s as close as his kind would get, I suspected, to admitting he is wrong.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">In September we were finally discharged from hospital. Putting Arjun into the car for his first trip home brought with it an exquisite feeling of relief. It was as if by physically removing him from the hospital was to finally extricate him &ndash; and all of us &ndash; from an enormous machine that had held us all captive for so long.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">I still believe that feeling was accurate, for that is what we had done.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We would have loved Arjun, no matter what shape his skeleton or how short his stature might have been. We know that now. But I won&rsquo;t deny the stress, worry and fear that I went through with my wife as a result of his misdiagnosis. For those parents who go through the same thing with a less fortunate outcome, I can only express empathy and an infinite admiration. And the memory of our ordeal gives us a reason &ndash; as if we need yet another, in addition to the little man himself &ndash; to thank God for the gift that He has chosen us to receive.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Measuring the unborn child</strong></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">At this point it is worthwhile going over Arjun&rsquo;s diagnosis in some detail. Not because it is inherently interesting, but because it illustrates some general features of prenatal diagnosis which I believe are fundamentally flawed. Although this discussion is somewhat technical, it is important to go over the details to get a good understanding of what those flaws are.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Arjun&rsquo;s diagnosis of skeletal dysplasia was based on what is called prenatal biometry. This basically means measuring the dimensions of a fetus&rsquo; body. Because the actual lengths of a baby&rsquo;s body vary according to genetics and stature, measurements are plotted on a standardized curve and often expressed in terms of percentiles. Measurements that fall out of a &ldquo;normal&rdquo; range are used &nbsp;as markers for particular conditions. Doctors also look for gross features, such as malformed bones or organs or certain fetal behaviours. A diagnosis is usually made on the basis of the aggregate of all this information; but in the case of skeletal dysplasias, biometric measurements make up the most important evidence in support of the diagnosis.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Let&rsquo;s look at a specific example. In Arjun&rsquo;s 22-week scan, his femur [thigh bone] measured 34.6 mm in length, while the &ldquo;average&rdquo; length for a 22-week old fetus is 38.0 mm (more on the calculation of &ldquo;averages&rdquo; later). This places Arjun at roughly the 3rd percentile, which means that he is in the bottom 3% of fetuses when ranked by femur length. It is this percentile ranking which is used as a metric rather than the actual measurement. Thus, although Arjun&rsquo;s femur was only 3.4mm smaller than the &ldquo;average&rdquo;, his ranking in the bottom 3rd percentile immediately singled him out as being &ldquo;of concern&rdquo;.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">(Statistical note: 3rd percentile puts him almost two standard deviations below the mean (-2SD). Note that because the distributions are approximately normal, mean and median coincide in this case.)&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">In general, this is the pattern followed by prenatal testing and diagnosis: if measurements fall sufficiently outside the &ldquo;normal&rdquo; range, that in itself is taken as <em>prima facie</em> evidence of a problem.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Once singled out, Arjun was measured at regular intervals throughout gestation and his femur length was plotted on a &nbsp;graph. Over time, this created a &ldquo;growth curve&rdquo; for Arjun that could be compared to the &ldquo;average&rdquo; growth curve. Similar graphs were made for the length of the other &ldquo;long bones&rdquo; &ndash; the humerus [upper arm bone], radius/ulna [lower arm bones] and the tibia/fibia [lower leg bones].</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><img src="http://theverandah.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/ArjunFemurLengths.jpg" width="380" height="306" alt="" title="" border="0" /><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />                </span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><em>Arjun&rsquo;s femur length in utero compared to the 50th percentile &ldquo;average&rdquo; curve</em></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">On all these graphs, Arjun&rsquo;s growth was below the average and dipped away as he approached birth. In the case of his femur, his measurements stayed below the 3rd percentile and even dropped to the 1st percentile at a later stage. Often, these growth curves are shown with a 95% interval around the mean which is deemed as the &ldquo;normal&rdquo; range. Arjun&rsquo;s long bone measurements fell outside of &ldquo;normal&rdquo; strip. At birth, his femur was almost 10mm shorter than what it would be &ldquo;expected&rdquo; to be.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">These were the graphs that Dr M. and Dr O. looked at. It is on the basis of these graphs that they made the diagnosis of an &ldquo;unspecified skeletal dysplasia&rdquo;. There were no other indications of bone deformities apparent. In a nutshell, they were saying: Arjun has a skeletal dysplasia because his long bones are too short for a &ldquo;normal&rdquo; baby.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Arjun&rsquo;s diagnosis of skeletal dysplasia turned out to be wrong. But so what? False diagnoses happen all the time and are acknowledged to be a risk in any diagnostic procedure. In itself, the misdiagnosis may not have any significance at all. Medicine is an imperfect science. It may well have been &ldquo;one of those things&rdquo; and nothing more.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">But I don&rsquo;t believe so. Arjun&rsquo;s case in itself doesn&rsquo;t matter, other than being a part of our personal history; but it is a good illustration of something fundamentally flawed in the way statistics are used in medicine. Remember, this was not a case of human error. Throughout the entire process, the doctors involved did not do anything &ldquo;wrong&rdquo; &ndash; they followed procedure. Any geneticist or obstetrician would have come to similar conclusions when looking at the evidence.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Nothing &ldquo;went&rdquo; wrong. But something &ldquo;is&rdquo; wrong with the procedure itself.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">In the next few sections I will explore the two fundamental flaws in the system of prenatal diagnosis &ndash; and, more broadly, in much of medical science - that I believe are illustrated by our particular case. The first, relatively minor flaw is the misapplication of statistical testing: using the wrong data and not understanding the limitations of the testing itself. The second and deeper flaw is the mistake that permeates so much of medical science: the false analogy between people and numbers.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>What is &ldquo;average&rdquo;?</strong></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Growth curves are made by collecting data from a large number of people and then fitting a mathematical formula that best describes a &ldquo;middle path&rdquo; through all the data points. The sample of people used is drawn from a &ldquo;population&rdquo;. If a sample is large enough, it is assumed that repeating the sampling process on the same population will yield almost the same results. However, different populations can give very different results. And here lies the rub: the growth charts used during prenatal diagnosis are assumed to be universal, but they are not - they are specific to a particular population.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Take the femur length chart shown before. It is based on a sample of over 1000 fetuses taken from a primarily European and American population. Now, it may well be that European and American babies (majority Caucasian in race) measure the same as Indian babies; however it may well be that they don&rsquo;t. At least anecdotally, Indians feel that their babies are smaller. Is it possible that some of the variation seen in Arjun&rsquo;s case was due to racial factors?</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">It turns out to be surprisingly difficult to find out. Femur length charts from an Indian population are not available to me, so as an analogy we can look at the work of <a href="http://www.shinozuka.com/US/index.html" target="_blank">Shinozuka</a> who has published &nbsp;growth curves for Japanese populations. Shinozuka&rsquo;s femur length chart is follows a significantly lower trajectory &nbsp;than the &nbsp;standard chart used in the West. His Japanese babies end up with femurs that are about 4.0 mm shorter than their Western counterparts. In fact, using Shinozuka&rsquo;s chart Arjun&rsquo;s measurements fall mostly within the normal range, although they are still well below the average.&nbsp;</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We don&rsquo;t know if Indian populations are comparable to the Japanese, but it seems likely that they would be. If Arjun&rsquo;s race had been taken into account, he probably would have been close enough to normal to have caused no concern.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><img src="http://theverandah.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/ArjunFemurLengthsShinozuka.jpg" width="380" height="306" alt="" title="" border="0" /><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />                </span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><em>Arjun&rsquo;s femur length in utero compared to the Shinozuka data</em></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Casting the net too wide</strong></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Diagnosis is in many ways a mechanical science - doctors often do no more than follow rules. When Dr M. referred Arjun to a geneticist with a suspicion of skeletal dysplasia, he was following a rule as faithfully as a computer program: look for femur length at or less than the 3rd percentile. By definition, about one in thirty fetuses will fall into this range. Although exact figures are hard to estimate, the birth prevalence of skeletal dysplasia is probably around 1 in 5,000. This means that of all the people who are &ldquo;suspected&rdquo; of having the condition, 99.4% of them will not have it!</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">It&rsquo;s simple maths, but it makes you wonder. The usefulness of this prenatal marker must be compromised by the large number of people who are suspected without cause (&ldquo;false positives&rdquo;). On the other hand, almost all people with skeletal dysplasias do indeed have very short femurs <em>in utero</em> &ndash; less than the 3rd percentile. So the question is, should we test a lot of healthy babies for this condition to find the few who do indeed have it?&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">In statistical parlance, these concepts have names: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specificity_(tests)" target="_blank">&ldquo;specificity&rdquo; and &ldquo;sensitivity&rdquo;</a> . Specificity measures how good a particular test is at finding positives within a population without catching a whole lot of irrelevant guff. Sensitivity measures how good the test is at finding positives and not missing other positives that might be floating around. In fishing terms, you might say that a harpoon is highly specific but not sensitive, and that a trawler net is sensitive but not specific.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">The prenatal procedures for detecting skeletal dysplasias are a trawler net; they have good sensitivity (most skeletal dysplasias will be caught this way) but very bad specificity (most babies who are suspected are free of the condition). &nbsp;Large numbers of babies (and parents!) are scooped up and run through the mill of testing, but only a very few of them are actually found to have needed intervention.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">In my experience, the doctors involved in prenatal testing do not have a good understanding of these statistical concepts. They operate as if their testing procedures had both high sensitivity and high specificity. But testing involves a trade-off between these two measures, and usually both cannot be high. The truth is, almost all prenatal testing has good sensitivity but low specificity. They are often good at finding those babies with problems; but they also catch a lot of false positives and put a lot of parents through a lot of stress for nothing. &nbsp;This is something that people know anecdotally, even if they do not understand the technical reason.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">It&rsquo;s not surprising that the medical profession is willing to sacrifice specificity for sensitivity. In this litigious age, the potential &ldquo;cost&rdquo; of a false negative is far greater than that of a false positive. The worst a parent like me is likely to do is write a long-winded article to vent my frustration. The parent of a baby who is declared normal but is then born abnormal, however, is far likelier to &nbsp;take things a lot further. This is one reason the culture in diagnostic medicine in general has become one of extreme risk-aversion:&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">&ldquo;Let&rsquo;s test the lot so we don&rsquo;t miss anything; because if we do, we could be in for a lawsuit.&rdquo;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">And finally, an even more cynical observation. Low specificity in diagnosis leads to a lot of healthy babies (or patients) being put through a lot of tests that they don&rsquo;t need &ndash; and someone paying for it. In our case, we shelled out at least an extra two thousand dollars over the course of three months to keep an eye on Arjun&rsquo;s femur. Surely there is a commercial imperative at work here, even if no one will openly admit it. I am not suggesting that individual doctors are thinking about money when suggesting monitoring. But the fact remains that anxious parents &nbsp;- and a fetus that is being kept under strict observation - &nbsp;is undeniably good for business.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>People and numbers: the false analogy</strong></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">The whole time we were in Dr O.&rsquo;s office, his eyes hardly left the computer screen that showed Arjun&rsquo;s growth graphs. In fact the consultation could easily have been done remotely; as far as the doctor was concerned, the only important thing was those graphs. We could have sent them to him via an internet link. He hardly looked at us or dealt with us as people. For him, Arjun was not a growing baby but a set of points on a Cartesian plane.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">This is how modern medicine often works. The individual patient is abstracted to a set of data; then that data is compared to a body of global population data to draw conclusions about the condition of the patient. Thus cancer patients are nowadays told their chances of survival in terms of probabilities: a 80% chance of surviving five years, for example. What has actually happened is that the patient&rsquo;s cancer has been converted to a set of data and then classified (say, as Type II); then historical data is consulted which shows that 80% of Type II cancer patients live for five years after diagnosis. This is then projected back onto the individual patient and expressed as a prediction about his future.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">And this, I believe, is the fundamental flaw that is at the heart of the misuse of mathematics in medicine.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">It is a flaw because the practice rests on false assumptions. To do medicine this way presupposes that a narrow abstraction of a human being can serve a useful purpose in isolation from the individual himself. It is an artefact of the reductionist, mechanistic view of science that has ruled the roost for so long; a model that has all but broken down in other branches of science but is still dominant in medicine. To look at such narrow abstractions is to treat a person as a sum of his parts alone. There is a false analogy at work: the analogy between a real, breathing human being - with all his history, personal traits and particular conditions &ndash; and a set of numbers that describe a very specific part of that person&rsquo;s phyisiology. To believe the analogy is, I think, an absurd extreme of reductionism. In reality, a person is much , much more than the sum of his parts. We look at one small part in isolation and lose the holistic view of that individual as a working system.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Coming back to Arjun, was his femur really that small? Yes, if you measured it and placed it next to the particular population distribution that was available. But what if he were to be treated in context as an individual? A baby of Indian stock, who was small all around &ndash; even his head and torso were at the very small end of the scale &ndash; and who comes from a family where most of the older generations were stocky and short. A baby who had no other signs of any skeletal problems, was active and did not exhibit any of the other <em>in utero</em> signs of skeletal dysplasia. What would be the diagnosis then?</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Surely not a &ldquo;very low probability&rdquo; of being normal?</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">The false analogy is used in both directions. Not only is the individual reduced to a string of data, but statistical data is often treated as if it represented something real. For example, the &ldquo;average&rdquo; biometric values are always used as a point of reference; yet there is no such thing as the &ldquo;average&rdquo; baby. There is no baby who has an exactly &ldquo;average&rdquo; length femur, an exactly &ldquo;average&rdquo; circumference of head, an exactly &ldquo;average&rdquo; bloodflow reading etc. Every individual baby, will exhibit some variation from the &ldquo;average&rdquo;. The &ldquo;average&rdquo; has a real existence in the abstract, mathematical world. But it is a human construction and an artefact of our mathematics. We have theories about its connection to the real world, but it does not live a &ldquo;natural&rdquo; existence. Yet, philosophically at least, the idea of the &ldquo;average&rdquo; being real in the world does strongly exist. And that is why we are so quick to compare someone to the &ldquo;average&rdquo;, and so concerned when the deviation is found to be &ldquo;large&rdquo;.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">And what does it mean when someone is far from the &ldquo;average&rdquo;? Why are we so ready to take that as evidence of disorder or pathology? The &ldquo;average&rdquo; is simply the mathematical centre of the data what has been measured to date. Think about it: where else in life do we put such store in the abstract and the aggregate at the expense of the individual case? Do we tell a student about to sit his exam that he has a 20% chance of failing? Do we tell a batsmen as he steps out of the pavilion that he has a 7% chance of scoring a duck? Do we sign insurance policies at our wedding to cover the 30% chance of divorce?</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">We don&rsquo;t, because in each of these cases we see the individual as possessing qualities that may place him or her outside of the normal historical range. People are different in ways that regular normal distributions know nothing about. You simply cannot project large-scale statistical measures onto individuals and call them predictions.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">One last point. To compound the problem of the false analogy, there is also the phenomenon of &ldquo;the more you look, the more you find&rdquo;. If each of us, as adults, was put through the regime of pinpoint biometric measurement that fetuses undergo, I would guess that most of us would come up with some measurements that would be well outside the normal range. And yet most of us are &ldquo;normal&rdquo;. There may indeed be a vicious cyle at work here: the more testing your baby &nbsp;undergoes, the more likely that something of &ldquo;concern&rdquo; will pop up; which means more follow-up testing, and possibly more &ldquo;concerns&rdquo;. And so on.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><strong>&ldquo;Anything can be proved with statistics&rdquo;</strong></span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">I realize this has all sounded something like a rant, but I am not bitter about what happened with our son. I don&rsquo;t, in general, doubt the good faith and intentions of doctors. I am not a doctor myself; but I do understand maths, and I think the way medical science uses statistics is wrong and harmful. Folk wisdom say that &ldquo;anything can be proved with statistics&rdquo;. A combination of risk-aversion, mathematical illiteracy and &nbsp;false assumptions has produced a system in which the everyday is becoming pathologized. My particular example is in prenatal diagnosis, but it is happening in other fields too. It is a dangerous trend, and it should be arrested.</span></p>
	<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Permit me one last piece of cynicism to finish on. I don&rsquo;t think things will change easily because there are real economic barriers in the way of change. To overturn the false analogy between people and numbers would mean treating patients as individuals and doing qualitative work; in other words, getting to know them as people. That would make medicine less efficient and less lucrative for everyone. Dr M. and Dr O. seemed like nice enough people, but I doubt that they would ever vote for that.&nbsp;</span></p>
	<div>                </div>
	<p>&nbsp;</p>
	<div>
<div>  </div>
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		<title>Deepening the World Wide Web</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/26/deepening-the-web/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/26/deepening-the-web/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Mar 2009 06:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
	<category>Science and Tech</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/26/deepening-the-web/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	   Would you use the Web if it was in Japanese?
If the World Wide Web was a real place, what would it be? A vast library, packed to the rafters with books? A newsroom, a marketplace or a coffee shop? Probably all of those things, depending on your point of view. But there [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p><!--StartFragment-->   <strong>Would you use the Web if it was in Japanese?</strong><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">If the World Wide Web was a real place, what would it be? A vast library, packed to the rafters with books? A newsroom, a marketplace or a coffee shop? Probably all of those things, depending on your point of view. But there is another analogy which is more accurate: the Web as an exclusive club &ndash; one where the majority of the world&rsquo;s people can&rsquo;t come in. </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">That might be surprising. The Web has grown so fast, so quickly &ndash; it celebrates its 20<sup>th</sup> birthday this year, if you go by the day it was first conceived in a research paper &ndash; that it seems that it has reached almost everyone. But it hasn&rsquo;t. Even today only about a quarter of the world uses the Web. In Africa and some parts of Asia, it is even less; you could collect twenty people and be lucky to find even one who has ever opened a browser or clicked a mouse. The Web as a technology is still &ldquo;shallow&rdquo; &ndash; though it covers the globe, it does not penetrate very deeply beyond the affluent top layer of humanity.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">The good news is that this is going to change over the next few years, and quickly. Mobile phone and broadband technology are making big strides in developing markets. For example, India alone adds ten million new phones a month, and the government there intends to roll out an internet kiosk into every one of its 100,000 villages. Mobile handsets are rapidly evolving towards having Web access as a standard feature. As result, over the next few years, large numbers of poor people across the globe will gain access to the Internet for the first time &ndash; perhaps doubling the global Web population in just five years. </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">This is a good thing, because the Web can potentially make a real positive difference to the lives of people in the Third World. Because these users typically have such little access to information, even a small window to the world can have huge impacts on their livelihood. This has already been demonstrated in some specific contexts through innovative programs that allow farmers to check crop prices, provide medical diagnoses for remote residents, or open up new learning possibilities for school children. </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">However, there is a barrier to this dream of a &ldquo;deep&rdquo; Web: most of these users will hardly be able to read. Even those who are literate are unlikely to be proficient in English, the <em>de facto</em> language of the Web. And because the interfaces that now make up the Web &ndash; web pages, hyperlinks, menus and so on &ndash; are so heavy in text, for these people they will be almost completely unusable. </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Not only will these new users find it impossible to surf the Web, they will probably find it unpleasant to even try. To get an idea of what I mean, try this experiment: search for a Japanese news website (or Arabic, or another language with a script that is unfamiliar to you) and force yourself to spend five minutes clicking through it. You will find it a stressful experience. The text will of course be unintelligible, but you will even find it hard to make sense of other visual elements such as images and icons because they lack context. Would you use the Web if it was written in Japanese?</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">So here is the challenge for those of us who build the Web: to create new types of interfaces that are more accessible and easier to use. It&rsquo;s not exactly clear what this new look Web might look like. It would certainly make a lot of use of symbols, audio speech and pictures. It might prove a very difficult task to develop it. But we won&rsquo;t know until we try, and not many people have. There are countless researchers working on smarter, prettier and &ldquo;cooler&rdquo; features for the Web. But there are very few who consider how the Web might be made simple and usable for people with low literacy.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps that&rsquo;s not surprising, because the next billion Web users will have much less money than the first. As a market, they are not important to the commercial interests that fund so much of the research and development. But we have a chance to do more than just follow the dollar signs. Technology, and those who build it, should help people. A real, democratic World Wide Web is just around the corner, if we are willing to take a broader view and make it happen.&nbsp;</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">See also <a href="http://symmetri.blogsome.com/2009/03/16/symbolyze-text-free-web/" target="_blank">Symbolyze:Text-Free Web</a>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Bonuses, chaos and bullshit</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/23/10/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/23/10/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:40:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/03/23/10/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	
A random rant about tortoises, Larry Kudlow and the financial crisis
	Public outrage over executive bonuses has found its lightning rod in that a**hole-factory known as&nbsp;AIG, the American insurance giant which has recently paid out monster bonuses to executives that oversaw its collapse. There are a few who still defend those bonuses, mainly on ideological grounds [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p><!--StartFragment-->
<div><strong>A random rant about tortoises, Larry Kudlow and the financial crisis</strong></div>
	<div>Public outrage over executive bonuses has found its lightning rod in that a**hole-factory known as&nbsp;<a href="http://www.aigcorporate.com/corpsite/" target="_self">AIG</a>, the American insurance giant which has recently paid out monster bonuses to executives that oversaw its collapse. There are a few who still defend those bonuses, mainly on ideological grounds &ndash; the remnants of the extreme free-marketeer freak show that has been running American economic policy since the 90s. That&rsquo;s to be expected &ndash; people like <a href="http://kudlow.com/" target="_blank">Larry Kudlow</a>, for example, would defend the rotten corpse of the neocon global project forever, no matter how foul the stench. They&rsquo;re fighting a losing battle. But thinking about what they say might help us to understand why all this happened in the first place.</div>
	<p class="MsoNormal">One argument that Kudlow and friends make is that executive bonuses are needed to retain talent in the financial system at a time when it is needed the most. It is this particular argument that interests me the most. I want to examine that statement from first principles, because I believe that some simple, plain thinking on this particular issue will bring clarity to the broader debate about the financial crisis and what is to be done about it.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">That statement about bonuses is interesting because it rests on a stack of assumptions, at least <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down" target="_self">five tortoises deep</a>. They in turn are interesting because they are mostly unspoken and unexamined. So even listing them out is a learning exercise, because we are bringing something hidden out into the light.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">So here they are, starting from the top tortoise:</p>
	<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">1)&nbsp;&nbsp; bonuses attract talented people</p>
	<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">2)&nbsp;&nbsp; running a finance company requires talent</p>
	<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">3)&nbsp;&nbsp; a finance company&rsquo;s performance depends on the people who run it</p>
	<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">4)&nbsp;&nbsp; the financial system responds to and rewards human intervention</p>
	<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">5)&nbsp;&nbsp; the financial system is controllable and non-random</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">I&rsquo;ll come out and say it: my contention is that all of these assumptions are wrong. Because each tortoise stands on the other&rsquo;s back, it really only means that the most basic assumption that is at the bottom of the tower is wrong &ndash; if you can turn him over, all the others will topple. But I&rsquo;d like to start from the top, because each of these assumptions reveals something about the way we have been trained to think about risk, control and the institutions that often run our lives.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Tortoise number one is easy enough. Bonuses attract people who are talented at making bonuses. If bonuses are offered routinely, without regard to actual performance, then the only talent you are selecting for is the desire to make money through a bonus. When you can get big bonuses even if the company is doing badly, then you are probably selecting for people who want to make money and are particularly shameless about having it delinked from performance. Which is pretty much what has happened &ndash; AIG being only the latest float in this sad parade.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Which brings us to tortoise number two &ndash; does it even matter who runs a finance company? If the best and brightest really were running AIG and others, why have they all failed at once? <a href="http://www.fooledbyrandomness.com/" target="_self">Nassim Nicholas Taleb</a> has talked about replacing stockbrokers with random number generators and replicating their performance. A similar experiment with finance companies has never actually been performed, but we can do it as a Einstein-esque &ldquo;thought experiment&rdquo;. AIG, <a href="http://www.freddiemac.com/" target="_self">Freddie Mac,</a> <a href="http://www.bearstearns.com/" target="_self">Bear Stearns</a> &ndash; all being run by a two line computer program. Every decision, no matter how big or small, being made by an electronic version of a coin toss. What would happen?</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">I would say they would compare quite well. They might not have avoided a financial crisis, these little computer-virus-executives, but would they have done worse? Worse than losing a trillion dollars* and destabilizing the entire system to the point of collapse? I really don&rsquo;t see how they could have. Trading versions of our imaginary executive cabal (with the addition of a chimpanzee) have <a href="http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/2000/2000ABQ.html" target="_self">out-traded the best of Wall Street</a>. In analogy, at least, we could say that our computer programs would not have under-performed our real, flesh-and&ndash;blood finance executive class over the last year.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">But in the interests of rigour, let&rsquo;s say that we can leave this tortoise half-toppled, on his side. This issue really is &nbsp;intertwined with our next assumption, and they stand or fall together.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">The question is can a finance company be &ldquo;run&rdquo; at all, the same way that other companies can be run? I say not. Finance companies depend on the ability to predict the future, much more than real companies. Their health depends directly on the state of the sharemarket. And as the events of the last year have shown, no one can predict the sharemarket at all. So, as an executive of a finance company, you are in the position of a gambler at the roulette wheel. We don&rsquo;t say that gamblers are &ldquo;running&rdquo; their casino campaigns, and neither are the finance executives running their companies. They can choose where to put their chips, but I would say we need to use different language to describe that level of control.&nbsp; </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">We are approaching the real issue, the grand-daddy tortoise at the bottom of the stack. I&rsquo;d like to stick with the casino analogy, and take it through to the end. The point about a casino is that it is a well-marked, separate domain which we understand as being completely artificial. Casinos play games with people&rsquo;s money. For some reason, we don&rsquo;t think of the financial system in that way &ndash; it is supposed to be far less arbitrary. But it is not. The random stochastic process that drops a roulette ball into a particular slot has its analogy in the financial world as the output of an immensely complex, chaotic system known as the sharemarket. I won&rsquo;t tour the mathematics here, but essentially the output of a chaotic system is as random and unknowable to the observer as a &ldquo;real&rdquo; random process. Next year&rsquo;s share price is as likely to go up as a bet on red.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">So what about our second-last tortoise, the one about human intervention? Human intervention counts for approximately nothing . Humans in casinos are only there to deal the cards and serve the drinks. The results of the games don&rsquo;t depend on the humans. They make decisions and may have the illusion of control, but there is no such thing as a skilled gambler &ndash; only lucky ones.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Just a side-point about the &ldquo;artificiality&rdquo; of finance. I believe that the finance world may have exacerbated the inherent problems of a chaotic system by creating an elaborate, artificial super-structure on top. The weird and wonderful financial &ldquo;products&rdquo; that preceded the crash &ndash; such as derivatives, futures, credit swaps and the like &ndash; have all the ingenuity in design of casino games; they were mostly constructed to hide the nature of the underlying system and mask the real nature of the risk. Of course, they enriched their architects, which is why they were created in the first place. Modern finance is an artificial industry. Finance companies produce nothing real; they use money to make money. They know it themselves, which is why they try the sleight-of-hand of labelling their schemes as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financial_product" target="_self">&ldquo;financial products&rdquo;</a> to make them seem more concrete. Finance is entirely man-made with no connection to nature. There is nothing wrong with that in principle, but people do not recognize its artificiality. They think of finance as just another industry, as real as building or education or medicine. But it is fundamentally different, because it is not organically connected to reality - and by treating it as if it is,&nbsp;we have made a grave error.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">The fattest tortoise is on its back, and we can work our way back up and watch them fall. The financial system is chaotic-random and not controllable. No one can predict the future of the market and no one can &ldquo;analyze&rdquo; the system beyond recognizing that it is chaotic. People created the system but are now at the mercy of it. On a small-scale, human intervention can have some local effects, but over time scales of interest their contributions do not bring any patterns to bear. Finance executives might as well play <a href="http://worldofsolitaire.com/" target="_blank">solitaire</a>, and do less harm. In the big picture, their companies &quot;run&quot; themselves. No one &ldquo;surfs the waves in&rdquo; &ndash; everyone is a just a cork bobbing around. Not only does a finance executive not require talent, but talent is irrelevant. And paying bonuses that are delinked from performance simply adds another layer of stupidity on top of the dung-heap by selecting an executive class that is especially indifferent to the idea that money should come from work.</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">Can we spy an even plumper tortoise at the bottom of the stack? If the sharemarket - and its dependent systems - are a thrashing, chaotic <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VmTiyTut6A" target="_blank">double-pendulum</a>, why have we based a civilization around it? Perhaps the world would be better off without a financial industry as we know it. I can hear Kudlow and friends gnash their teeth &ndash; Commie bastard! But this is not a Marxist critique. It is only this particular model of capitalism, with a casino as its engine room, that is on the nose. Maybe we can buy and sell real things and work for each other quite well without the sharemarket. In fact, if real capitalism is about private enterprise, then why shouldn&rsquo;t my little going concern be unshackled from this complex, unpredictable beast? A little bit of credit, money in the bank, no <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usury" target="_self">usury</a> and a system that rewards work. As one of my university professors used to say, just some &ldquo;common-f***ing-sense&rdquo;. How did we get to the point where that seems radical?</p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">    </p>
	<p class="MsoNormal">*That is my estimate. No one knows the actual figure, and it doesn&#8217;t make a difference to the argument    </p>
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		<title>Ruled by rules</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/27/ruled-by-rules/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/27/ruled-by-rules/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:42:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/27/ruled-by-rules/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	Local governments in Australia are culprits of over-regulation.
	Councils are using satellites to spy on residents (SMH, 18/9). It doesn&rsquo;t surprise me a bit. For a people who are supposed to have a healthy scepticism of authority, we tolerate a lot of meddling in our lives from our government. Somewhere along the way, we&rsquo;ve gone from [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<div><strong>Local governments in Australia are culprits of over-regulation.</strong></div>
	<div>Councils are <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/they-know-where-you-live/2008/09/17/1221330929855.html " target="_self">using satellites to spy on residents</a> (SMH, 18/9). It doesn&rsquo;t surprise me a bit. For a people who are supposed to have a healthy scepticism of authority, we tolerate a lot of meddling in our lives from our government. Somewhere along the way, we&rsquo;ve gone from being a nation of free-spirited larrikins to citizens of a nanny state.</div>
	<div> </div>
	<div>Local councils are masters of micro-management. Want to paint your fence or plant a tree? You&rsquo;ll need permission from your council. Kids want to sell lemonade on the street? They&rsquo;ll need to comply with the National Code for Food Vending Vehicles and Temporary Food Premises. If your house is heritage-listed, you are not even allowed to do minor alterations. Why is it that the colour of your garden path is someone else&rsquo;s business? You can pay three quarters of a million dollars for a four room apartment in this city - but you won&rsquo;t be allowed to hang out your own shirt on your own balcony.</div>
	<div> </div>
	<div>Businesses have their own maze of regulations. Our local café used to have a few stools out in the sun where you could chat and have a coffee. It was a great place to meet other locals and hang out. The stools are gone now - the council had them removed, because the footpath was less than the minimum width allowed by legislation for outdoor furniture. Never mind that they never got in anyone&rsquo;s way, or that we have lost yet another place where people could interact and have a sense of community. Apparently outdoor &nbsp;furniture, like nuclear assets, must be strictly controlled. We&rsquo;ve thought about bringing our own stools, but it&rsquo;s only a matter of time before some bureaucrat appears with his measuring tape and slaps us with a fine.&nbsp;</div>
	<div> </div>
	<div>Our artists pay the highest price for over-regulation. Sydney has a mediocre music and arts scene, and the reasons aren&rsquo;t hard to find. Staging any kind of performance involves getting a truckload of paperwork: emergency plans, safety inspections, public liability insurance, fire inspections and more. Events have to be planned months in advance at great cost. And it takes just one noise complaint and you have to pack it up. No room for democracy here; one grumpy neighbour ruins it for everyone. Art and culture need spontaneity and space to live. In Sydney, we&rsquo;re fast running out of both. &nbsp;</div>
	<div> </div>
	<div>So here we are, each of us a Gulliver tied down by a thousand petty rules. Our lives have been zoned and mapped out already. Let them spy from their satellites. They won&rsquo;t find anything out of the ordinary - we&rsquo;ve made very sure of that.&nbsp;</div>
	<div> </div>
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		<title>Cynicism and Nostalgia</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/12/cynicism-and-nostalgia/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/12/cynicism-and-nostalgia/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Feb 2009 08:32:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/12/cynicism-and-nostalgia/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	An Australian Bengali boy&rsquo;s view of 1980s Calcutta    
	    
	I was born and raised in Australia, but my childhood visits to Kolkata were frequent enough to be routine; my memory of them is a khichuri of images, smells, faces and voices that has always stayed with me. From the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<div><strong>An Australian Bengali boy&rsquo;s view of 1980s Calcutta</strong>    </div>
	<div>    </div>
	<div><img width="120" height="90" border="0" align="left" title="Kolkata slum" alt="Kolkata slum" src="http://architecture.myninjaplease.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/calcutta.jpg" style="margin: 10px;" />I was born and raised in Australia, but my childhood visits to Kolkata were frequent enough to be routine; my memory of them is a <span class="Apple-style-span">khichuri</span> of images, smells, faces and voices that has always stayed with me. From the moment I stepped out of the plane my novice mind would begin its work, taking in impressions both strange and familiar and reconfiguring my conceptions of people and place. One particular uncle would always greet us at the airport, having braved the hour long journey from my father&rsquo;s ancestral home. He would cut short my bumbling attempt at a pranam and bundle us into a waiting taxi for the ride home. The journey was arduous, inching through North Kolkata in thick traffic. I would peer out through the black fumes that surrounded us and strain to see the activity at the shoulder of the highway, where hulks of abandoned lorries lay in various postures; the phantoms that scurried amongst them were gaunt shadows, clothed only in loincloths; now and then one would stand up in the gloom and scurry away with a piece of scavenged metal. To a child brought up on the television news this was a familiar scene, reminiscent as it was of the streets of Kabul or Beirut. I knew there was no war here, but as we approached home I could see the city decaying in front of us. Turning off the main road, we found open drains choked with discarded plastic and slime, people defecating in the open and garbage burning on every corner. With a child&rsquo;s innocent affection for animals, I remember feeling very sorry for the black buffaloes that crossed our path; even at that age I had an understanding of just how great was their separation from their natural environment.&nbsp;</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My family&rsquo;s means were adequate without being spectacular in any way, and we had a large house on a large plot of land in Belghoria; our stay was comfortable there. The distance between the comfort and order of the family domain and the squalor outside seemed incomprehensible to me. I had no experience of such a sharp boundary between public and private space; and having seen no comparable example back home, it had never occurred to me that the commons of an urban landscape might be allowed to degenerate to such an extent that those who could afford it would lock themselves away.</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My parents were no doubt aware of the physical difficulties a child of the First World might have in adjusting to life in the North Calcutta of the 80s. Little boys find all kind of things fascinating or amusing, even things that might turn the stomach of an adult; but the fetid air and inky swarms of mosquitoes ceased to be interesting as soon as the first welts appeared on my body. My entire extended family treated me with kid gloves. I was foreign-born, and the assumption seemed to be that I was precious, naive and easily damaged. Curiosity on my part was actively discouraged, as was my interest in street food, which might make me ill. I usually stayed inside the family compound, and I was frequently reminded by my mother that the local children would &ldquo;eat me alive&rdquo;, as they were street-smart to the point of ruthlessness.&nbsp;</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My impressions of Kolkata, then, were very one-dimensional &ndash; to my mind it was a filthy, impoverished, grim place; a place that needed great private effort to make inhabitable; in which the warmth of my relatives towards me was all the more poignant for the degraded state of the environment in which they lived. No doubt there are many who might yet agree with that characterisation now, but it was certainly far truer of the North Calcutta of twenty-five years ago. I was used to the clipped gardens and ordered streets of suburban Melbourne, and the contrast was stark to my developing Western mind, accustomed as I was to judging the value of things primarily by appearance.</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>But I was lacking one thing: an explanation for what I saw. Here was a city of many millions, filled with Bengali people who I assumed were just like my own parents &ndash; capable, intelligent people &ndash; and yet it was a city that was broken in so many ways. How did it become like that? Why was it so different to Sydney or Melbourne or the other places that we visited around the world? My parents never gave me an answer. Yet they themselves were acutely aware of the dire state of the city. Family reunions were peppered with discussions about traffic and hawkers and pollution; sighs and regrets over what Kolkata &ldquo;had become&rdquo;; and, most often, exclamations about the utter uselessness of Bengalis in all things practical and related to economic affairs.</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>It was this constant, cynical refrain that most affected me. As far as I could tell, Bengalis were acutely sensitive people trapped in a world that was cruelly indifferent to their higher abilities, but instead punished their lack of commercial sense by transforming their own city into a garbage-infested backwater. <span class="Apple-style-span">Bangali-der kicchu hobe na</span> (&ldquo;Bengalis will never amount to anything&rdquo;) &ndash; that was a phrase that I heard from many lips in many drawing rooms. Children take things literally, and such brutal cynicism, such a blanket condemnation of one&rsquo;s own race was quite a shock. Any attempts at a dissenting view were always feeble and easily cut short by the majority view. There was no room for debate on the matter. Kolkata was ruined, dying, gone, a debased shadow of its former self; all that remained was to apply our famed Bengali eloquence to writing its eulogy. &nbsp;</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>With time, I began to understand this cynicism and where it came from. It was, first of all, a political statement and an expression of disgust with the ruling class of the time. A child could hardly have been expected to comprehend the conflict between ideology and governance, but it was the outcome of that battle in the context of Bengal that had created the anarchy that I saw around me. What exactly the Left did to everyday urban life in those decades is best laid out by those who lived with it; but as I took my own baby steps into the world of ideas, it was clear to me that it had been enough to embitter many of my father&rsquo;s generation.&nbsp;</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>And yet I soon realised that there were contradictory feelings at work. <span class="Apple-style-span">Bangali-der kicchu hobe na</span> was not an expression to be taken literally; it was a subtle form of code. What it really meant was that Bengalis would never be Gujaratis - we could never be expected to excel in the world of business or to take advantage of circumstance to make ourselves rich; we lacked that spirit of enterprise. To the neo-liberal ear that sounds like a denunciation; but it was actually quite the opposite. Bengalis weren&rsquo;t made for commerce, but more importantly, commerce was not made for us; our natural inclination was towards worthier pursuits than grubbing for money. As a collective excuse for the material decline of our city, this explanation was both simple and gratifying. Here was a kind of perverse vanity that worked like magic: it transformed the festering vats of garbage that encircled our homes into symbols of virtue. It was a narrative that also had the advantage of being useful to the individual case. The romantic ideal of the poet has always included poverty in its noblest form, and it was an easy sleight-of-hand to reverse the equation. The absence of material success was now the marker of Art, regardless of any evidence to support that conclusion. We were not doers, we told ourselves; we must, it followed, be artists and thinkers.&nbsp;</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>It was only in this specific context, then, that it ever occurred to me that I might be proud to be a Bengali. I was a born a second generation emigrant, yet even so I was steeped in the mythology of Tagore from a young age - it took me almost a decade to realize that he was a man and not a deity. Tagore loomed so large over the psyche of expatriate Bengalis that he was almost the only acceptable and universal outlet for nationalistic pride. Tagore was my birthright, even at such a distance in space and time. To look backwards as a Bengali was to meet his gaze, and one could hold one&rsquo;s head high. But to look forwards with the same posture was not encouraged; rather it was to be a rank optimist, and even a fool, for there was no Tagore there and no one like him. The world of Bengali culture was presented to me as a <span class="Apple-style-span">fait accompli</span> and a product entirely of the past; and I got the idea that it was under assault as much as the city of Kolkata itself. The best that one could hope for in the future was to preserve what was precious against the polluting effects of modernity and cultural invasion.</div>
	<div>Here they were then, the Kolkata <span class="Apple-style-span">bourgeouis</span> in the eyes of a someone who lived at its fringes: an entire generation enclosed in dusty rooms, knowing the same pleasures over and over &ndash; Tagore and Roy, tea and sweets mixed with fatalism and nostalgia; and I, the skinny <span class="Apple-style-span">bideshi</span> boy, was allowed to glimpse the scene every year or two and take back of it what I would. They were my people, and I loved them, but the first and last impression that I had of every trip was this: that they had made their own stereotype, and now they were trapped in it, and that if I was to ever stay back I would be trapped in it too.</div>
	<div><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>I am older now, and much changed, and so is Kolkata. Buffaloes roam a much smaller range, and little by little areas of the city are being churned in new directions by new forces. Multiplexes and malls are a decidedly poor marker of a city&rsquo;s progress, and are at best imported spaces; but I can still feel at home with the younger generation that populates them, for they have an optimism and an energy that previous generations found hard to employ. Maybe it is money and mobility, or maybe it is because they care less about ideals; maybe it is because they are impatient with the abstract. Circumstances change, and so do attitudes, and it is often hard to discern which it was that came first. Cynicism is still a widespread and very natural response for a Kolkatan; and it is still very much needed, as there is much to be cynical about. The brown haze that strangles the city daily is proof enough how little the political class has changed in its indifference towards people&rsquo;s lives. But cynicism, like all drugs, has its dose. To over-indulge is to forget something simple: that Bengalis, like any other people, have the potential to achieve anything to which they might apply themselves. It has taken me well into adulthood to really believe that. I have some hope that the people of Kolkata are finally ready to do the same.&nbsp;</div>
	<div>    </div>
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		<title>Ulica Stawki 59</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/03/ulica-stawki-59/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/03/ulica-stawki-59/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 10:30:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Poetry</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2009/02/03/ulica-stawki-59/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	Here, at the centre of a new Empire,The veins of my breasts have run dry,For the last time.&nbsp;There is no tomorrow, only today;Broken vases and fingernails wet with blood,The ghosts of candles and soup ladles;And another notice slipped under the door.
	Is it possible that this will endure?When we look out past the barricades into the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p>Here, at the centre of a new Empire,<br />The veins of my breasts have run dry,<br />For the last time.&nbsp;<br />There is no tomorrow, only today;<br />Broken vases and fingernails wet with blood,<br />The ghosts of candles and soup ladles;<br />And another notice slipped under the door.</p>
	<p>Is it possible that this will endure?<br />When we look out past the barricades into the city,<br />We see a sky painted in cruel greys,<br />We see the tyranny of Man set in concrete,<br />And we dream of Israel.<br />Our own walls are pierced with small kindnesses,<br />And I tell David: <br />Discard everything,<br />But do not forget your mother&#8217;s smile.</p>
	<p>History has been condensed:<br />Forty hundred years of suffering&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />In my baby&#8217;s eyes. </p>
	<p>I can tell him stories<br />Of prickly rabbits and their wiles,<br />A story of my own youth<br />(though my milk is almost gone).<br />I put him into the tale:<br />&#8216;Brer rabbit, my friend,<br />One day I will meet you,<br />In America.&#8217;</p>
	<p>But how can I save him?<br />My own lips are at my breast,<br />Sucking at nothing but yellow skin.<br />We are in decay.<br />Outside, the old ones die<br />And are taken in wooden carts<br />Through the snow. </p>
	<p>The last notice:<br />Another cut in rations; <br />We are too tired to cry.</p>
	<p>Go - I tell him, in a whisper,<br />Relieved that there is no more doubt.<br />I will throw him to the mercy of the world,<br />And he will float amongst the reeds,<br />Right into the mouth of the enemy<br />And out the other side.</p>
	<p>&#8216;And when you see him, my son,<br />You too can say:<br />I&nbsp;was born and bred<br />In a briar patch.&#8217;</p>
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		<title>Mumbai 26/11 and the NRI</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/12/03/the-nri-post-2611/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/12/03/the-nri-post-2611/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:47:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/12/03/the-nri-post-2611/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	 In the aftermath of the mass murder in Mumbai, there is much for India to do: hunt the&nbsp;culprits, punish the sponsors, rebuild the city&#8217;s landmarks&nbsp;and revamp the political, economic and physical infrastructure of the nation&#8217;s defence. The Indian citizen is angry and&nbsp;demanding action from&nbsp;the political class. For members of the Indian diaspora, however, the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p><img style="margin-bottom: 5px; width: 137px; margin-right: 5px; height: 89px; " height="89px" src="http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:Uy3beJN9KFgyYM:http://www.hurriyet.com.tr/_np/4847/6874847.jpg" width="137px" align="left" border="0" /> In the aftermath of the mass murder in Mumbai, there is much for India to do: hunt the&nbsp;culprits, punish the sponsors, rebuild the city&#8217;s landmarks&nbsp;and revamp the political, economic and physical infrastructure of the nation&#8217;s defence. The Indian citizen is angry and&nbsp;demanding action from&nbsp;the political class. For members of the Indian diaspora, however, the pain is no less keen but the feeling of helplessness is perhaps even greater; not being there somehow makes us feel even less connected, even less able to make our voices heard. </p>
	<p>I have been thinking about this, and what an individual NRI can do in these times to make some kind of difference. The terrorists who attacked Mumbai had many aims, but chief amongst them was to cast a shadow over the modern story of India and to damage the economy. This is where we NRIs have the most to contribute. Amidst the sadness and the anger I get a flash of resolve: that we must reply by redoubling our commitment to our country. </p>
	<p>So here is my humble three point plan for the Indian NRI:</p>
	<p>1) Be an advocate for India. Write to your local politicians and ask them to strongly support India in her time of need. Support local Indians - go to see that Bollywood movie or cultural show, buy Indian products and food, talk to Indians on the street. Engage with others in a positive way about your culture and explain to them the context of what happened in Mumbai. All of us are ambassadors for India, and now that role is more important than ever.</p>
	<p>2) Do business with India. If you were thinking of investing, do it. If you already&nbsp;invest there, double your investment. If you were thinking&nbsp;of working with an Indian company, call them and make the deal. The India story will continue, but we can make a difference by showing our belief in the future of India in&nbsp;a tangible way. Terrorism is not just about blood but also money, and it is through our money that the NRI community can make the most emphatic statement.</p>
	<p>3) Go to India.&nbsp;Make plans to visit whenever you can for work or for pleasure. Call your relatives and tell them you will visit. Book a ticket to Mumbai. When the Taj&nbsp;is rebuilt, go to the Sea Lounge; order a vodka martini with someone you love; sit back, look out onto the Arabian Sea&nbsp;and make a toast to India and her people. &nbsp;</p>
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		<title>The Mismeasure of Man</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/11/13/8/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/11/13/8/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:56:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Commentary</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/11/13/8/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	I am reading &quot;The Mismeasure of Man&quot; by Stephen Jay Gould, a history of scientific racism. It is instructive at this moment in history, when Barack Obama is on the cusp of becoming President of the United States, to remember just how far we have come. This is poignantly illustrated by quoting the words of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p>I am reading &quot;The Mismeasure of Man&quot; by Stephen Jay Gould, a history of scientific racism. It is instructive at this moment in history, when Barack Obama is on the cusp of becoming President of the United States, to remember just how far we have come. This is poignantly illustrated by quoting the words of Abraham Lincoln himself exactly 150 years ago:</p>
	<p><span class="Apple-style-span">&quot;There is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race&quot;</span></p>
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		<title>Haiku for a 33-year old</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/09/08/haiku-for-a-city-lunchtime/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/09/08/haiku-for-a-city-lunchtime/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:08:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Poetry</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/09/08/haiku-for-a-city-lunchtime/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[	Is there a reason,The ox unyoked from his ploughWalks the same furrow?
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<p>Is there a reason,<br />The ox unyoked from his plough<br />Walks the same furrow?</p>
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		<title>A Twist of the Neck</title>
		<link>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/03/02/a-twist-of-the-neck/</link>
		<comments>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/03/02/a-twist-of-the-neck/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Mar 2008 00:55:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shourov Bhattacharya</dc:creator>
		
	<category>Fiction</category>
		<guid>http://theverandah.blogsome.com/2008/03/02/a-twist-of-the-neck/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Whenever I send Shibhu to the market, he comes back late, and smelling of tobacco. I instruct him, always, to choose the chicken carefully; not one of the biggest birds, but of a medium size with shiny feathers, with energy enough to peck at the curse of its cage. He chooses well, usually. But I suspect he has an arrangement. Of the money that I give him I am sure he keeps at least ten or fifteen rupees for himself, having organized a regular discount with the shopkeepers and perhaps some sort of quid pro quo; the balance surely goes on a session of chai and cigarettes, or the bottomless pit of the paan-wallah’s tin.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[	<div>Whenever I send Shibhu to the market, he comes back late, and smelling of tobacco. I instruct him, always, to choose the chicken carefully; not one of the biggest birds, but of a medium size with shiny feathers, with energy enough to peck at the curse of its cage. He chooses well, usually. But I suspect he has an arrangement. Of the money that I give him I am sure he keeps at least ten or fifteen rupees for himself, having organized a regular discount with the shopkeepers and perhaps some sort of quid pro quo; the balance surely goes on a session of chai and cigarettes, or the bottomless pit of the paan-wallah&rsquo;s tin.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>When he returns, though, singing and reeking of smoke, I say nothing. He is an old man, and he should be left to enjoy what little pleasures he can take from his life. Shibhu has worked in this house for more than fifteen years; for my uncle before me, shuttling back and forth to the pharmacy in an old, hand-drawn rickshaw carrying black bottles of medicine; and now for us, cleaning and running odd errands, or lifting the phone to admonish prospective telemarketers in his broken English. Nowadays he is thin, and drawn. A racking cough takes up residence in his chest at the change of the weather, and he travels less and less to his home village. I let him be, out of affection and concern for his health.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>It sounds strange, but in this house I do almost all of the cooking. I&rsquo;ve always enjoyed the experience of preparing food: the anticipation of lighting the stove and heating the oil, the cool, soothing feel of sliced vegetables under my hand, that first, happy aroma of cooking spices. I chop, I fry, I grill, I stir and boil and toss and bake: I do it all. Tucking my shirt under the little roll of fat at my belly, I busy myself at the counter, the stove and the oven simultaneously, oblivious to the world. The kitchen is converted into my playroom, into my own private temple. Nobody bothers me, and I need no one; everyday worries knock vainly at the closed door of my mind. I am absorbed by the process, consumed with the joy of transformation, in thrall to the ancient craft.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meenakshi loves it much less, or not at all. Her mother warned me, of course, about her aversion to the kitchen, little realizing that it did not matter to me at all. I have my Meena for other things: for the infectious tinkle of her laugh, the smell of hair, the glad splash of her sari on the verandah in the morning. In her I have already been given more than I deserve; more than I should rightly have. My hands are full with treasure..</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Our verandah is a pretty one, looking out onto the lane behind the main road, open to the sky despite the suffocating press of other buildings all around. I have decorated the area with plants, little ferns and various flowers that bloom one by one during the summer months. It&rsquo;s where Meena likes to have her tea, in the mornings, reclining behind the curled branches like a shy starlet. I drink mine at the dining table just inside, where I can lay out the morning paper in all its mind-numbing detail.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Once the clock reaches eight-thirty, the verandah across the lane also stirs in a mirror image of ours; our neighbour, Akash, comes out for his morning cigarette.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Morning Akash,&rsquo; I call out, raising my hand.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Morning brother,&rsquo; he returns, pausing to light up, &lsquo;Good morning, Meena.&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meena laughs her own greeting, setting her cup down with a clink, and asks about his plans for the day. Akash is a journalist, too, but writing for a new website publication, specializing in &lsquo;entertainment&rsquo; stories. He works from home, mostly, balancing a laptop on his knees or nodding seriously on his phone, pen in hand. He works hard; if I get up late in the night for some reason, I invariably see his figure at his bedroom window, hunched over in concentration. In the mornings, though, he is relaxed, rubbing the sleep from his dark eyes and blowing smoke down out into the already filthy air. Sometimes I come out to the verandah as well, my own cup still at my lips, and join in the conversation.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Not bad, brother,&rsquo; he drawls, in answer to my query about his work, &lsquo;not bad at all. Some days good, some days bad. You know?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>On my own days in the office I leave the flat by about ten. I never need to stay long; after meetings and some briefings from my colleagues, I can usually bring my work back home. Shibhu is often having a siesta when I return in the mid-afternoon. I don&rsquo;t wake him; if he has been to the market, he stocks the refrigerator himself and leaves me a short note if there has been any problem with my order. Or sometimes he tells Meenakshi, if she is there, and she passes on the message.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;No goat meat, this week. Shibhu says there is a shortage in the city, because of the strike,&rsquo; she might say, sprawled on the couch, while I lay a kiss on the top of her head.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meena doesn&rsquo;t work, right now. She graduated last year, but hasn&rsquo;t been on the job market since then. She doesn&rsquo;t need to be, really. Since our marriage she has been working on a few small projects with friends, sending her own designs to the academy in Delhi and overseas. I ask her, now and then, what her career plans are, but she doesn&rsquo;t seem eager to discuss it. We have a vague strategy to move to Mumbai, next year or the next, if I can utilize some of my connections with the paper. Meena wants to wait until then, I suppose. She keeps busy, thinking up new ideas and sketching, leafing through page after page of smiling models with a furrowed brow. I leave her to it. We don&rsquo;t need the money, just yet; and I don&rsquo;t want to push her to work if she is happier at home.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>We are happy, I think to myself as I begin another afternoon in the kitchen, laying out the onions and drying my knife on the tail of my shirt. I chop the onions finely, place the lot into a deep pan and cover atop the stove to sautee, then grate some herbs. The smell of garlic infuses the house with warmth. There is time, after that, to slice the other vegetables with care, lightly frying the potatoes in their own pan while I wait. Outside, crows squawk in ugly orchestra at the windowsill, pushing their beaks against the grill; I have to bang against the frame with my wooden spoon to chase them away. Behind their retreating wings emerges Akash&rsquo;s beaming face.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Brother,&rsquo; he says, &lsquo;it smells fantastic.&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t even started yet!&rsquo; I laugh. I have never seen Akash cooking himself, although he lives alone. Perhaps he has his food delivered, or he eats out. I drop spices into the oil, raising a sizzling, sublime mushroom cloud. The bachelor life, I think to myself, smiling - how I miss those days!</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Is it chicken curry?&rsquo; Akash asks, now looking at me intently. I reply in the affirmative. He licks his lips theatrically and gives me a thumbs up. I raise my spoon in acknowledgement.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;I love chicken curry. You&rsquo;ll have me over one day won&rsquo;t you, brother?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Of course I will, I answer. The poor guy, I think, probably doesn&rsquo;t get all that much good food, living away from home as he does. Resolving to myself to have Meena invite him, I simmer the chicken and vegetables in my karhai and stare reflectively outside. The winter sun filters weakly through the smog and paints the evening a dull silver. Beneath me, gangs of puppies chase one another through the lane, yelping sharply when caught by the wheels of passing bicycles. Palm trees raise their dirty fronds towards the sky, willing the cleansing rains to arrive early. The city breathes fitfully and arranges itself for the night.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>When I finish, I cover the pot and wipe a bead of sweat from my brow with my towel. I glance outside again, and am surprised to see that Akash is still at his window, regarding me with a curious gaze from the same position as before. Our eyes meet, and I give him a gesture of goodbye.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Good night, brother,&rsquo; he says quietly.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meena and Shibhu both love my chicken curry &ndash; thick and fiery without being rich, the meat delicately spiced a perfect balance of hot, sweet and sour. I leave Shibhu&rsquo;s portion aside, in a separate container, for him to take to his room. At dinner I finish my own meal early and watch Meena as she eats, slurping appreciatively at her fingers and mangling the chicken bones with her teeth. She scarcely looks up. When I reach towards her to stroke her hair, she flicks my hand away with annoyance.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>It is my mother&rsquo;s recipe, that curry, one of my earliest memories. I can still see her hunched and blowing at the coals, then raising herself on her haunches and fanning the oven with my father&rsquo;s discarded newspaper. Potatoes and onions frying in oil, only to be laid out and put aside in crisp profusion on a plate. Dismembered chickens in a gruesome pile, awaiting their miraculous, genius transformation. It always amazed me, that such a varied and discrete gallery of ingredients could come together so perfectly; the end product tasted so gloriously complete, as if sprung directly from the forehead of Brahma, a divine inspiration rather than the toil of human hands. When I finally learnt to make the dish myself, I saw it all in my mind&rsquo;s eye as clearly as a film-reel: my mother&rsquo;s precise and slender hands at work above her utensils and cooking pots. No recipe was ever required; only the keen inner lens of remembered love.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;We must have Akash over one day,&rsquo; I say at the table, sipping the last of my water. Meena looks up sharply, her hand halfway to her mouth. I give her a fatherly smile.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;We should, you know. The poor guy hardly gets any good food.&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meena does cook, too, very occasionally &ndash; a dhal, or some vegetables in a simple curry, or even a stew of fish. But she takes little interest in it. Perhaps she does it only out of guilt, as if she should at least contribute something in the kitchen. Usually, if I am out late for any reason, I leave her something already made. On the rare occasion that I must travel away from the city, she makes do with whatever is in the house, preferring to give Shibhu a holiday. I suspect she falls back into her old, bad habits, picking up fast food from the stalls that line the main intersection, fried bhajis and sweets and plates of spicy chaat.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>That was all she wanted when we first married, that kind of food. I indulged her, then; we took trips to the city, strolling hand in hand through the gardens, sharing packets of fried nuts and devouring ice creams, wiping each other&rsquo;s shoulders with sticky hands. But now, with the years, we have found a new kind of love, one that does not require the the greasy incitements of the chaat-wallah or the sweet mutterings of the ice-cream man; one that is based on the more sedate happinesses of hearth and home.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Meena comes rarely to the kitchen, so I am surprised when she appears at the door, smiling coquettishly. She rarely disturbs me, here. But this time she is unusually attentive; she comes right inside, raising herself on tiptoes and laying her chin on my shoulder.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;You&rsquo;re making chicken,&rsquo; she says, in a playful tone, &lsquo;Can I watch?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>I plant a kiss on her hair and raise the lid to let her look into the pot. She coughs weakly in the rising fumes and squints inside. The chicken is simmering, and not yet ready. I quickly cover the pot again.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Can you show me how you make it?&rsquo; she asks.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>I am even more surprised, but glad. I have already used most of the vegetables, but there are some extras laid aside, and I show her how they are sliced and prepared well in advance - the onions, the potatoes, the tomatoes. I take down the jars of spice and arrange them on the counter, explaining the order in which I add them, the right measure of turmeric and masala and tamarind. The chicken is cut to this size, I tell her, holding one piece out of the pot to illustrate, and must be on the bone. Then, the timings: when to cover, when to simmer, when to leave the entire pot open and let the water evaporate away.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>She asks me a question, and then listens, closely, her lips parted in a beautiful pose of concentration. For the first time, I feel myself greatly distracted from my task. Let the pot simmer, I decide, turning the heat right down to just a tiny flame; then I hoist her onto my shoulders and carry her out of the kitchen, her legs kicking in mock outrage.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Afterwards, Meena is very quiet, playing with the bangles at her wrist. I make my way to the kitchen and switch off the curry just in time, then turn to the door to find Shibhu watching me with sad eyes.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Sir&hellip;&rsquo; he says, hesitating. I give him an inquiring look. &lsquo;Sir, you showed madam how to cook the chicken?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Yes,&rsquo; I nod. Shibhu looks at his hands, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;You should not have done that, sir,&rsquo; he says in a soft voice.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Why not?&rsquo; I am annoyed at his strange behaviour, and I don&rsquo;t hide it. He does not answer straight away. I raise my hands in exasperation. &lsquo;What are you talking about, Shibhu?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>He gives me an imploring look.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Nothing, sir. Only that &hellip; you can make it much better.&rsquo; I stare at him, bewildered, but he does not meet my eye. Then, before I can respond, he turns on his heel and disappears.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>That Shibhu, I think to myself. He is definitely getting on. I should consider giving him his retirement.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>The next day I embark for the office, fighting clouds of flies and the stinking mass of a million bodies on the underground. I emerge into the city centre and flee to the comfort of my building, thankful for the hum of air conditioning within. The day begins well. Almost before I can even check my email, my editor comes to see me. He gives me high praise for my latest feature series, and hands me a slim envelope with a meaningful wink.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>I tear it open at my desk. It is a letter from the editor of the national edition, offering me a sub-editor position in Mumbai.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>I lean back and let my heart do jigs in my chest as I contemplate the news. The others in my team have heard too, and come around to slap my back and tell me how much they will miss me. It&rsquo;s a wonderful opportunity. I see a clear path opening ahead of me, fortune parting the Red Sea of circumstance in my favour. I promise to take my colleagues for coffee later in the week to celebrate. Then I quickly repack my bag and flit out through the mid-morning traffic straight to the market.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Today, I buy the chicken, not Shibhu. The market is less busy at this time, and I go straight to our regular corner. The shopkeeper eyes me carefully and offers me an outrageous price, then backs off when I begin to argue. I remind him about Shibhu, and he breaks into an enormous grin. No sooner have I pointed to a bird than he has extracted it from the cage and snapped its neck.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;For you, sir,&rsquo; he says simply, folding the corpse into a paper bag and extending one wiry arm.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>The auto rickshaw has hardly sputtered to a halt in front of my building than I press the money into the driver&rsquo;s hand and rush upstairs. I fumble at the latch impatiently, then flick my keys onto the hallway table and burst into the living room. It is empty. I call Meena&rsquo;s name, then Shibhu&rsquo;s, but there is no answer. I stride to the back of the flat, still calling out. The clack clack of my shoes against the wooden floor echoes around me. The flat is dark, the windows in every room unopened. Meena perhaps has gone out, but I wonder where Shibhu could be.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Shibhu?&rsquo;&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>There is a shuffling from behind the door of his room, but no answer. I take a step forward to investigate; but he appears soundlessly at the doorway. From his appearance I immediately know that something is very wrong. His usually immaculate shirt is crinkled and hangs crookedly from his shoulders, loosely buttoned. His eyes are red and swollen. The flat disc of his face is wet and dirty with tears.&nbsp;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Shibhu? What is it?&rsquo; I ask.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Sir, she is &hellip;&rsquo; His voice wavers, then breaks into a sudden sob, twisting his face with grief. He totters towards me and throws his arms around my body, burying his face in my chest.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Sir, I couldn&rsquo;t tell you, sir, I couldn&rsquo;t do anything. She is gone, sir. She is gone.&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>I feel myself grow instantly cold, a chill running through every vein. I know he means Meena. An awful intuition settles over me. I stand limp, with my arms at my side, collecting Shibhu&rsquo;s loyal tears on my shirt. His sobbing subsides, and he releases me slowly and stands back, then raises his left arm. I follow the line of his outstretched finger to the verandah across the street.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;You mean, with &hellip; ?&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>Shibhu nods, and lets his head drop to his chest. I walk to the window and peer into the flat across the lane. The windows are not shuttered, but the rooms are empty; there is not a single stick of furniture left. The walls are bare, and the floors completely cleared. The door to the verandah is open. Outside a solitary packet of cigarettes balances precariously atop the railing; as I watch it falls to the street below.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>We stand there a long time, not moving. The din of traffic outside slowly rises and fills the silence between us. When I finally speak, I do so without turning.</div>
	<div></div>
	<div>&lsquo;Light the stove, Shibhu,&rsquo; I say in a voice I never knew I had, &lsquo;We are going to have a feast tonight, you and I.&rsquo;</div>
	<div></div>
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